The Busiest Bee

eat, pray, cry cause everyone knows your wife stomped on your heart

2010-08-20T11:12:00.000-07:00

I saw Eat, Pray, Love last weekend, and I really liked it. I liked the book better.

I have always wondered how her ex husband feels about his heart being torn out documented in a book and now on film, and apparently I'm not the only one.

Here's an article about him, and he seems to be doing just fine.

Fashion Forward

2010-08-19T19:57:00.000-07:00

I've been looking for something fabulous and chic to wear as a veil without looking like:

a) a beekeeper

b) an extra in the Madonna like a virgin or like a prayer music video

this girl really hit the nail on the head...

Love.
via OnceWed

To shoot or not to shoot...

2010-08-16T16:39:00.000-07:00

I've been spending quite a lot of time lately looking for a photographer for the wedding. I have a pretty specific idea of what I'm looking for...more photojournalism and less posey posey shots (I hate those). But it's hard to find a great photographer that doesn't cost a million bucks...but then I did! And I really like them! And I'm excited now!

They usually provide a wedding album with the package but I figured we would never look at the thing so she said she would change it out for an engagement session instead, which is what I had wanted (yay). But then I talk to the boy and he'd rather have the album, saying that the engagement session pics will never be looked at again while the wedding album is something we will want to have later.

So now I don't know. Is he right? Will we never look at the engagement photos once we get married? But we have no pictures of us as a couple where we don't look like drunks or idiots, I'd like some shots of us before the wedding...

Did you do an engagement shoot? Was it worth it, or did you never look at the photos afterward?

SLO nice to see you again

2010-08-12T20:05:00.000-07:00

I know that I have been gone forever, to the point where I figured maybe people, the few faithful of you that is, had given up on me. I've been swamped to say the least, with all things wedding related, and it was bordering on absurd.

I had no idea that planning something like a big party, where I wear a white dress instead of a black one would be so time consuming. But it is. No wonder there are so many blogs about it.

The wedding was originally planned for Carmel, CA where I am from, I went up there for 5 days, spent the entire time looking at venues, talking to caterers, emailing photographers and arguing with my parents about money. It was exhausting to say the least. It's no secret that the Monterey Peninsula is so damn expensive but I had no idea just how overpriced everything was until I was given a pretty strict budget in a town where the word budget is not in the vocabulary.

I picked a venue (a modern art museum) then came back to LA and spent a lot of time worrying, then crying, then getting mad and frustrated, then fighting with my parents over stupid things that shouldn't have even been an issue. It got stupid really quick, and I started looking at things like a $10,000 catering proposal and a $5,000 photography offer as "No big deal!!"

I realized that I was losing perspective pretty quickly and I needed to come back down to earth. So I started thinking outside of the box, looking around, my scope moving further up and further down the coast. I started to realize how unrealistic it would be to get married where I had wanted to, so I went to San Luis Obispo, where the boy's parents and my sister live, and did the same thing I had done in Monterey all over again. I looked for venues, spent 3 days talking to caterers, photographers and churches and it turns out getting married for a reasonable amount is do-able just sometimes you have to think outside the box.

I'm a little sad that I'm not getting married in my hometown, it's where I dreamed that I would marry someday, and it's where my memories are, I hold a lot of love for that place, I had been saying "it's where my heart is," but I have realized that my heart is wherever my family, friends and everyone I love and hold dear is, and it doesn't matter where that is exactly, as long as they're all there with me on that day.

fancy wedded bliss

2010-07-30T13:31:00.000-07:00

Gawker has released photos of where Chelsea Clinton will getting married tomorrow in Rhinebeck, New York. It was built by the John Jacob Astor IV to resemble Versailles, and was rumored to be taken off the market recently to be able to be used as the wedding venue for the Clintons.

Granted it's a really fancy house but I like that she's using a house nonetheless and not some schmancy country club nearby or somewhere in Manhattan like everyone else.

Since presidents and their families are the closest we'll every get to royalty it'll be interesting to see pictures of this multi million dollar wedding when all is said and done.

Have a great weekend.

I think we're moving backwards here, but I've lost track

2010-07-29T14:04:00.000-07:00

Has anyone seen or heard about this? The California marriage protection act is a measure that John Marcott is trying to put on the November ballot trying to ban divorce in California.

I think his point is to make a statement that in regards to Prop 8, the proposition that passed in California banning gay marriage, that if we find marriage such a sacred act, that we should ban divorce considering that (according to Mr. Marcott) the 50% of marriages that fail in the country is making a mockery of marriage.

Agreed that the divorce rate is sort of sad Mr. Marcott but instead of making such an extreme political statement under the guise of satire, maybe we should be educating young men and women about the responsibilities of marriage, and make marriage more about succeeding in a relationship and finding a partner you can spend your life with and less about the wedding and all the fun and pretty things? Maybe we should embrace the responsibilities educating those ready to marry 20 somethings and remind people more often about what they are taking on before they unknowingly jump into something they may regret later?

In this country the wedding is the supposed pinnacle of a relationship, so how can you expect a marriage to succeed if according to the wedding industry and the fairy tale stories it's the best day of your life? That might suggest it's all downhill from there, meaning it's no surprise that a lot of marriages end in divorce.

I get what you're going for here, and while some may snicker, and some may choke at your arguments and your desire to get this measure on the ballot, I just want to tell you I'm sad that instead of focusing on the real problem here, of not encouraging men and women to make real responsible choices in their relationships and their personal lives (married, single, gay, straight) you're just pissing a lot of people off and graying the issue further.

Your thoughts? Do you get what he's saying and find it funny? Or are you kind of wanting to barf...you can probably guess where I lie on the issue.

I die

2010-07-27T11:44:00.000-07:00

Like Literally...

Is anyone else excited about The Rachel Zoe project starting again?

I wish i had her job, or maybe just her closet. And I have a little crush on Brad <3 Love him.

The show starts August 2nd, 10 pm Bravo.

Get excited. I know I am.

Why wedding venues don't call you back

2010-07-26T11:09:00.000-07:00

Has anyone else had this problem? I'm looking at renting a house to have the wedding and reception, and I'm seriously in love with the home. It would be perfect for what we want to do, relaxed and formal all in one place. Everyone loves the idea, the boy and both families really want this to work for us and the guy will. not. call. us. back.

After so many calls from different family members, multiple emails and even reviews on the rental website the guy is a no show. He's turned off his phone, makes excuses and asks you to call him back, and then the cherry on top, he butt dials us while he's driving in the car.

And now I'm heartbroken cause this was what I really wanted for our wedding.

This isn't the only place this has happened to us, and I'm starting to get annoyed. I'm going to give you $5000 to rent out your space and y'all poo poo it like it's nothing. And in this economy one would think you would be falling all over yourselves to book your venues and put some money in your pocket but ignoring the customer is not smart. This is BAD BUSINESS and I'm starting to lose my patience with the wedding industry.

Anyone else experience the no show wedding folk?

Here's hoping

2010-07-21T10:45:00.000-07:00

I haven't been keeping up with the blogs lately (sorry guys, really I am). We've been kind of busy with family, school prep, wedding prep and whatnot. But I finally got to some of them again today, and I am very glad I did.

I've been struggling with worry (shocking) now that the boy and I have decided to get married. It's scary to think that many many marriages don't survive, and when we are constantly bombarded with images of marriages going kaputz it's scary to think we are signing up for the potential possibility of heartbreak and failure. I guess that the chance you take with someone you love.

But this made me cry, and made me hopeful (something that's hard to do when you're getting married in a world where happy marriage is fleeting these days, unfortunately)

from A Practical Wedding, written by one of her readers Rachel:

"Last week, my husband and I visited my dad’s parents, who have been married 57 years. Cooking breakfast in the morning, she would call across kitchen to the living room, where he was reading he paper. “Joseph!” she sung. He would pick his head up and beam at her while she waved her fingers back at him. When we went into town, they walked with arms around each other’s backs.

Some marriages don’t last. We know that, and it’s scary to begin this journey with that in mind. But there are also people like my Nana and Pop-Pop, who have lived through the murder of a sister, deaths of their parents and many of their friends, a quadrupal bypass, three sons and 8 grandchildren, and a rash of mental illness, and who still behave like two teenagers in puppy-love. There is hope, and if we don’t leap because we’re afraid love might not be there tomorrow, it won’t."

This is so cute I can't stand it.

Have a great day.

Aaaaaand they're off!!!!

2010-07-19T21:03:00.000-07:00

Did anyone know there's this secret race out there that no bride wants to talk about? The wedding race?

I haven't really been all that in to wedding venue searches, it never really was something I thought I needed to get on right away; especially since we aren't getting married for a year. And not to mention the fact that it's almost impossible to find a venue that is reasonable and cool all in one. One place I looked at had a pretty reasonable fee of $2500 for the garden and ballroom but then mentioned the $20,000 food and beverage minimum...baaaaaarf

I've been getting emails from girls who just got married saying things like, "Oh I bet you're in mega wedding planning mode by now right?! I know I sure was..." If you consider watching, Say Yes to the Dress over and over then sure.

Well the boy comes in the other night after visiting his recently engaged friend and proceeds to tell me we really need to get on the ball, they got engaged after we did and they already have a date and a venue for August 2011...gasp.

So then I get overwhelmed and start calling everyone in the book about venues, and you know what? A lot of places already have dates booked...FOR NEXT YEAR. I know this is all new to me and maybe some of you are saying, duh but that boggles my mind. I can't believe it. There's this wedding race going on and I'm not even out of the gates yet when other people have already made a few laps.

Any suggestions on ways to inquire about/internet sites for venues? So far I have 4 good prospects.

In other news, trust me, the girl that wears heels to the grocery store to have already found her dress before she found a venue. But trust me, it's so fab I'll even wear it to the courthouse if I have to, super long train and all.

Dear John

2010-07-13T20:25:00.000-07:00

You are mighty handsome my friend. I look forward to your victorious return.

Your cigarette smoke filled, tweed suited, greased hair, a 5 o' clock shadowed return.

I love you.

Mad Men season 4 starts July 25th. Anyone else as excited as I am?

Like whoah

2010-07-12T14:48:00.000-07:00

Has anyone seen these recently published photos of Gwenyth Paltrow's Tribeca apartment?

Ah-mazing...

That tree bed is to die for, and who doesn't love a hanging chair?

Good job Gwen.

So doc...

2010-07-12T11:35:00.000-07:00

Pre-marital counseling...

Thoughts? Know anything about it?

Ever done it?

Wish that you had?

We're thinking about it, I don't see anything wrong with it, I think wanting to get started on the right foot before marriage is a good thing non? But there's this stigma somewhat associated with couples counseling.

I'm embracing our imperfections!

2010-07-06T13:43:00.001-07:00

So yeah, mom was in town, then sister was in town, then it was July 4th and now life is back to normal...as normal as life gets in LA.

I have a bone to pick.

There's this unspoken competition going on with couples I have noticed lately. The "we're the perfect couple" competition (seriously, go on facebook and look and your couple-y friends photos). And I'm tired of it.

I feel like now that we're engaged other people are focused more closely on our relationship and who we are as a whole, whether we're compatible and whether or not we're gonna work out, if we fight and how happy we really are, I feel like we have to keep quiet about our imperfections for fear ppl will get "nervous" and unsupportive about us getting married. I feel like I look at other couples, comparing us to them; and they look SO giddy and perfect and sometimes I feel like we're supposed to look and act like that too, like there's something wrong with us if we don't. Of course I know that that's not what it's like behind closed doors. I had a friend who was madly in love, it was all she would talk about, they seemed like the perfect couple, they never had any issues and they clicked like they were made for each other...and then one day after 2 years together, out of the blue she called me crying to tell me they broke up, she wouldn't tell me why...24 hours later they were back together and now they 're married. When she called I was in shock, there had NEVER been any indication that there were issues. Are we supposed to be that couple? The couple where no one saw it coming when it ended? Or can we please be more real about it?

I know it's no ones business what goes on behind closed doors in a relationship, but maybe we should reach out to other couples for more support.

The boy and I are real people, we fight, we argue, we yell, we're stubborn and pig headed, we're both egotistical and can't let things go; but we love each other. We are not perfect, by any means but we make it work because we're a couple, and we know that we're normal people and we make mistakes.

Why is it that other couples can't admit that? I understand not airing your dirty laundry to others but I think that we should be honest with one another more often, maybe if we did that, maybe if we showed support to other couples it would make it a lot easier to navigate through this really tough part of life...love, relationships, marriage, being a partner and an imperfect human being. There should be more relationship support, we should admit as couples to one another more often that things are hard, that couples fight but that things will be ok and that there are ups and downs and people make it through alive. It might make us all fight a bit harder for what we have as opposed to giving up after feeling inadequate to those couples you know who put on a better show than you do.

I think as couples we're so afraid that people are going to judge us and our relationship that we're too afraid to not let it all hang out and be real with one another. I'm not one for throwing a martini in the boy's face at a bar but we should be more honest about things. Embrace our imperfections as people and own up to reality. So I'm here to say the boy and I fight, we have our ups and downs, our good days and our bad days, and it doesn't get any easier but to move forward we must embrace our imperfections and support each other in order to maintain balance and grow. We should do that for other couples as well...now all we have to do is get them to admit they aren't perfect first.

There's a reason diners are open 24 hrs right?

2010-06-28T16:14:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to put my feelers out there about wedding stuff knowing that as soon as grad school starts in September, good ol wedding planning will definitely take a back seat for me. We have priorities people, ya know?

The wedding planning industry is really trying to break out of the mold of what is typically wedding, and embrace what is unique (hello DIY) but still there are a lot of the same things you'll see at just about every wedding; especially formal sit down dinner weddings, which is something I'm seriously looking into (I like to eat ya'll). But I don't want to do the same old chicken or fish, I don't eat chicken and the boy hates fish so...we come to a crossroads.

I was sitting with a few friends a while back and over sushi and beers we were discussing what would be a super cool wedding meal, someone said a baked potato bar, with all the fixings, there was the obvious answer In n' Out truck (holler!) and a few other gems and it all got me thinking. What do I really love to eat, what is something that would be totally unique and fun, wouldn't break the bank, and wouldn't be over the top tacky (like dominoes pizza or something...which I could totally get into just for the pure tackiness of it but I digress).

Then it dawned on me over pancakes one night, I LOVE breakfast food, I mean I have a serious love affair with all things breakfast. It's my favorite meal of the day and who doesn't love having breakfast for dinner?

I feel like we could satisfy everyone...a fancy french toast bar, an omelet bar, ham and eggs, biscuits, hash browns, mimosas...all done in a tasteful manner. We could have it buffet style so everyone can get what they want. I told the boy my idea and his eyes lit up, I think he likes it.

I think it would be kind of fun, and I've never seen breakfast done for dinner at a wedding before. Which easily checks off the unique idea.

But then the boys mom came into the picture, she's awfully traditional (meaning her head is going to explode by the end of hearing all my ideas for this wedding cause I am not) and she could not wrap her mind around our wedding being at night, and not in the morning when breakfast is usually served.

So here's my question, is breakfast for dinner at a wedding tacky? Or fun and unique and you can dig it?

Any other ideas for a fun dinner reception, that won't cost a ton of money and you don't usually seen done before?

How to get myself out of this one?

2010-06-24T12:02:00.000-07:00

Is it ok to lie to your neighbor to avoid looking like a nosy beast?

The guy that lives behind us has a super cute yellow lab and the past few mornings the dog has been yelping so loud it seriously sounds like the guy is beating the dog.

We're BIG animal people in this house, and it made me sick to my stomach to think of this poor dog back there being treated like this. So this morning I saw the guy out there; I put on some respectable clothes and marched right over there thinking of what I would say once I got to his house.

Walking up I told the guy I worked for a vets office and I had heard the dog yelping the past few mornings and he sounded like he was really hurt and I just wanted to make sure the dog was ok...

Turns out the dog. PJ, has a shock collar on cause he's still a puppy and PJ digs under the fence...um ok I guess...then the guy tells me that PJ probably just has separation anxiety because the guy is a firefighter for LA and sometimes he's gone for over 24 hours (then why do you have a dog?). This is his 3rd lab.

Ok so well I feel a little better at least he's not beating the dog while I sit back and ignore it. I introduce myself, offer to walk the dog for him, tell him I live right behind him, just wanted to make sure the dog was ok, and that I really do work for a vet's office (I really don't), cause he joked about it being a cover to be nosy.

Then he looks me right in the eye and says, "So, what vet's office do you work for?"

Secretly sweating on the inside cause I'm totally busted, I just moved here! I don't know of a single vet's office! $%&* #$%&!!
Suddenly! Genius! I remember! There's a vet's office just a few blocks away on the corner of PCH and Redondo! I calmly tell him, "Oh, just the one down the block ya know, the one on the corner of PCH and Redondo?"

He goes, "Oh, yeah! That's where I take PJ all the time!"

Busted.

So now, not only am I a nosy neighbor, I'm a freakin liar...

Can you be friends with a guy?

2010-06-23T16:04:00.000-07:00

I'm a very social person, it's obvious that I wasn't an only child cause I cannot entertain myself for the life of me. I always relied on my sister to keep me entertained, I get bored alone, and I hate it. Now that we've moved and the boy is working oh well about 10 hours a day I'm alone a lot. I've been going to coffee shops and perusing the stores downtown to no avail, there aren't a lot of ppl down here who have any interest in being friends with a stranger.

Cut to the boy and I shopping at banana republic over the weekend and me making friends with one of the salespeople...a dude. I'm pretty sure he likes guys, but in this day and age and in this city you never really know. I walk by a million guys these days wearing shoes I own and jeans tighter and skinnier than mine so everyone is a mystery at this point.

So we set up a lunch date, banana boy and I, and I'm really excited. He seems really nice and I'm excited to have a friend. But what if he isn't gay? Is it ok to be friends with him?

Now at first when the boy and I had this conversation I got all pissy and called him possessive and a controlling weirdo but when he said, "If I met some random girl out and about and she and I had lunch together and started hanging out all the time how would you feel?!"

Point very well taken.

I've always had guy friends, often when I was younger I had more guy friends than girl friends, less drama, more fun, but I also wasn't engaged to be married. I have a very good guy friend from college that I still keep in touch with, the boy has met him, and he and I are still pretty close, if I could make him a bridesmaid I would. But I always made it very clear to said guy friend that we would only be friends, even when the boy wasn't in the picture yet, and even now the boy has never felt threatened by him (it probably helps that he lives in Indiana...and has a gf he adores).

So this brings up a question...can you be friends with newly met guys when you're in a serious committed relationship? If he ends up being gay is it better than if he isn't gay? If it turns out he isn't gay do we have to stop being friends?

I know that the boy trusts me, but I get it, I also see it from his point of view. When it really comes down to it though, I really would love someone to go to coffee with ya know?

That'll be $50,000 please...

2010-06-21T12:20:00.001-07:00

Can we talk about how expensive weddings are for a second?

So I did it, I finally broke and bought a few wedding magazines. It took all of a week and a half and then I caved.

There was a section in one of the mags about budget and what real brides spent on their weddings...

The first brides budget? $68,000...

And they didn't even have to pay for a venue because they got married at her parents house. I almost barfed when I read this. Call me confused but spending that kind of money on one day is incredible to me. That is half the cost of a nice house in a lot of states and you're gonna drop that kind of cash on 6 whole hours?!

The boys best friend proposed to his girlfriend a few days after we got engaged (I think the boy inspired him) and we were talking to them this weekend about their plans, they went on and on about how they were gonna have a small wedding and be economical about it because they were paying for it themselves. Their budget? $50,000.

What is going on here? Gone are the days where one can spend $10,000 on a wedding and that seems reasonable and not cheap, women are spending $10,000 alone on their dresses these days. I could buy a car for $10,000 and I would use it for a lot longer than a few hours my friends. In an economy where there are families living in homeless shelters what happened to our priorities?

Let's be honest, if money were no object for me or I'd been saving for a long time I would probably blow a lot of cash on a gorgeous jaw dropping wedding so I am not judging here. But, I think it's a shame that the wedding industry even thinks it appropriate to charge that kind of cash to rent silverware or linens or a flipping cake, most wedding cakes don't even taste that good!

I think it's funny people quietly judge me about spending $20,000 a year tuition to get my doctorate (a lot I know, but I'm gonna benefit from it for the rest of my life) but don't bat an eye on spending $35,000 on one day, and even taking out their own loan to do it. Some people's marriages are over before they've finished paying off the wedding. I think things are backwards, and I don't see any change for the better any time soon.

Las Vegas is looking better and better.

Image from Stressed Out Brides Survival Guide

Update: I feel I must mention that there are a lot more books, websites and magazines coming out about weddings on a budget...but I don't think many ppl are getting the message.

What I've learned so far...

2010-06-18T15:46:00.000-07:00

Things I have learned from my past 2 weeks in LA:

1) People's lives literally revolve around the traffic...and they think that's normal. Leaving an hour and a half early to go all of 20 miles seems like no big deal to anyone down here. And if there's an accident? Cancel your plans. Seriously.

2) The traffic problem is like survival of the fittest, and I'm not fit enough. It's an urban jungle out there and I get butterflies every time I have to get on the 405 or the 110. I mean how many freeways do you really need, and does each one really need 2 different names (The 110 aka Harbor freeway)? This is getting confusing! And there isn't any separation between towns, it's a continuous stream with no divide, in just 3 minutes you can drive through 5 different towns but in the end? Everyone says they're from Los Angeles.

3) In relation to the traffic, southern Californians are some of the worst drivers I have come across in my life. Why do you have to tail me when there are 7 other lanes you could be driving in? And why pass me and cut me off only so you can drive as slow as the guy I was behind in the first place, and you're turning left in 30 ft anyway?

4) Vintage clothes are SO much more expensive. Like someone could have died in that shirt and you're gonna charge me how much?!

5) Lakers fans are very serious about the game, and one shouldn't mouth off about any other basketball team or you will get beat.

6) Los Angelenos will riot for just about anything (hello NBA championships). These people are frustrated and they want to burn things.

7) The people down here aren't the friendliest bunch I've ever met in my life. I feel like people think I'm a weirdo every time I smile and say hello. How do you make friends down here?

8) There are a lot of places to go and things to do down here, whether you're into museums, the outdoors, shopping, dining, movies, or a mini vacay (hello Vegas, San Diego and Palm Springs) there are a million places you can go to find what you want. Things are convenient for sure.

9) Fashion is a high priority for a lot of people, and I love that, I feel like I fit in and don't stand out like a sore thumb wearing my most of my wardrobe, but flats are a must as there is a lot of walking to be done; people really love their flip flops down here.

10) You just have to find your niches in southern California and stick with it, find your grocery store, your favorite breakfast restaurant, favorite coffee shop, good shopping and what not and things will be a lot easier if you don't have to venture too far out.

Hopefully soon there will be a lot more positives than negatives. I haven't been here that long, and I'm still getting the lay of the land but so far it ain't that bad (with the exception of that BS traffic).

To be or not to be separate

2010-06-16T10:32:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of couples out there who do everything together, live, work and play together.

The boy and I do not. I think we would kill each other.

Though we mesh well in our relationship we are completely different people. He builds computers for fun, and I go to vintage clothing stores for fun.

I like to be outdoors, I love the beach, hiking, going out and doing things. I love eating out, going to concerts and events, shopping, reading at coffee shops and hanging out with my friends. If there is ever anything social to do outside of the house I want to do it or I feel like I'm missing out.

The boy loves to watch tv, play video games, go to the movies, be on his computer, read the news and drink beers with his friends. He's more the techy geeky one of the family. He's much more of a homebody than I am.

We do have certain things in common, we both love to read and are both relentless in our pursuit of information and answers to anything and everything, we both like movies and we love going on bike rides together; but other than that we are split. I kind of have an aversion to technology and the media and he embraces it with open arms.

I think this is ok. I think the fact that we are completely different in our pursuits is what keeps us on our toes. I don't get bored with him because he's nothing like me. There have been times where he wishes I would play video games or I wish he would go with me to have a cocktail at a nice bar but then I realize that keeping our interests separate gives us time to be individuals.

I know couples who aside from work are together all day and every day, all the time, without a break, they identify themselves by the other person, by being a couple, and they do everything together. If there's no separation then I think laziness and boredom set in, and if you're not careful that can lead to disaster.

But maybe I'm the one that has it backward? I'm sure people think it's weird that we're so different and we have a lot of things we do on our own (we often celebrate holidays separately with our own families), that even that can lead to separation. It did take us a while to figure the other person out on what we each find interesting in life, and there are compromises, we do things for each other that we wouldn't normally do on our own, but it works for us, and so far there haven't been any complaints.

So how much time is too much, and how little is too little? Do you spend all your free time with your partner or are you very different in what you find entertaining? How do you find middle ground in your relationship?

It ain't all that bad

2010-06-15T10:57:00.001-07:00

Ok, here goes. I saw the new Sex and the City movie and...I liked it. I actually liked it. Of course I went in thinking I was going to hate it, and while there were a few cringe worthy moments, I think going in expecting to sit there in horror actually helped me leave pleasantly surprised.

The decadence was over the top, the clothes weren't that great and there were a couple of times where I thought "what the hell is going on here..." but for the most part the story line had some deep and meaningful qualities to it that save the film. The whole message I took from it was that relationships are hard, not just romantic ones but friendships, parenting, even work relationships and that they need to be worked on to maintain the positive aspects of them.

I actually really empathized with Carrie in her fear of losing the romance in her relationship and her fear of losing the fabulous life of a single woman. I think about that sometimes. When I got engaged one of my closest friends, my night out on the town buddy said, "Well, I will look back on all our fun single girl nights with fondness..." And while I smiled and hugged her, inside I was wondering why all of those fun nights out had to stop now that I was getting married? I worry about getting lazy as a couple, I don't want to turn into that couple that stops talking and doing things together and just watches tv in silence all the time, or have completely separate lives because we're so different in what we want. It takes work to maintain the "sparkle" and I understand that fear that she harbors.

But in the end I appreciate that Carrie realizes that it's not that her life; in settling down with Big, is changing for the worse and she should fight it, but that it's merely changing, and that she needs to embrace it for all the goods things and not look on it with dread.

I still want to be able to hold on to all the fun nights I have with friends, and I think I can do that. I think that both the boy and I want to maintain the romance in our relationship and not get lazy about things (though I do have to admit maybe that's more me than him, he thinks settling down and watching tv on the couch is just part of being in a relationship and I wholeheartedly disagree...but that's a different post I suppose...).

In the end I left the movie much happier than I thought it would. I think that it actually mirrored the television show more than the critics gave it credit for. It was all about the trials of being a wife, a parent, a woman, a friend, and career woman all in one film. If you can look past some of the ridiculous side stories and crappy jokes, it really did have some redeeming qualities.

I may have even liked it better than the first one...

Who asked you?

2010-06-09T23:18:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about how often people are completely incapable of being happy for others. I've struggled with this a lot lately in myself and I'm really trying hard to change that. I remember right after I lost my job last August, the weekend after I had to move out of my very first apartment I rented on my own with my own money and had moved in to a house on the charity of my boyfriend and his brother I had to move the boy's sister into her second home that she and her new husband had just purchased. This was needless to say very hard for me. I had just gained my independence, felt like it was ripped away from me, the little bit that I had made on my own, and here I was moving some chick my same age into her second brand new home. I remember going through that day numb, trying to make it to the very last moving box, and driving to have lunch with my best friend and upon sitting down burst into tears feeling so very sorry for myself. It just didn't seem fair.

Then halfway through my third margarita I had a revelation (margaritas will do that for you), her life was not mine, and her decisions were not mine, and that was not the life I wanted anyway, to own a home; I had other plans, plans that were right for me and not for her. One day maybe I would own and home but I wasn't ready for such financial burdens and responsibilities; I had a lot more planned for myself than to just settle down. But maybe that was the choice she wanted to make and I should at least try to be happy for her and let go of the burden of comparing my choices to hers, cause it was getting me nowhere.

This has been coming up a lot recently for me, now that the boy and I are engaged. I've been more wary of the stigma of marriage. For the girl, it's all I should ever want, to get married and have babies and for the boy, it's all downhill from here. There is no support for the institution of marriage; in the media it's portrayed as being the pinnacle of ones personal life and also the root of all misery, sometimes in one single episode of whatever you may be watching at the time. Even in the new Sex and the City movie (something I haven't seen yet) I know now that Carrie and Mr. Big are married (she sure chased that man for a long time)and now there's no more sparkle; like as soon as they signed that marriage contract the balloon deflated and things started to really get boring. Really? I mean when was the last time you saw anything on tv or in the movies where there was a good, fulfilling, happy marriage? Where's the support?!

I mean why would anyone be getting married if it sucks that much?!

The boy told his boss the day after he proposed that he had gotten engaged and the boss' response? "That's a HUGE mistake" (He's in the middle of a divorce).

I was watching Kate Gosselin talk to a bunch of wedding dress models on tv today, and after asking if any of them were married and all of them replying no, she gave them a thumbs up and said, "good! You should all stay that way, don't do it."

Listen people, your mistakes are your mistakes, the choices you made were yours alone, so please don't go crapping on mine. I will be 27 years old and have completed the first year of my doctorate program by the time I get married and I can tell you right now I will have thought an awful lot about the commitment I am making before I make it. I won't know what your choices were, or what personal mistakes you made walking down your road but don't use them against the choices I make for my life. Please try to be happy for other people and the decisions they are making that will make a future for them and if you can't do that...fake it...or walk away. I'd be a lot better off not having you in my presence than giving me words of advice I certainly don't need nor did I ask for.

I want more support. I know that relationships are hard, being single is hard, being alive and living and making decisions every day is hard...so why make the moment harder for someone else by making them feel bad about their choices? It just doesn't make any sense.

An open letter to Martha Stewart

2010-06-08T19:58:00.000-07:00

Dearest Martha,

I have tried; I mean really tried to use your recipes. Your whole living website is great for healthy recipes that sound edible and delicious and I really do appreciate that; but, we need to have a chat. After multiple attempts to use your seemingly delicious recipes I have one main observation; girl, your recipes don't make any sense. I mean seriously...

When something like this:

ends up looking like this:

THERE.IS. SOMETHING. WRONG. And that took 5 ppl to try to interpret the recipe and we still failed.

I have a quiche in the oven right now that I had to scramble the eggs just to make them stay in the crust (a crust I have to mention I had to cook twice, because do tell, how does one make a crust with wheat germ, flour and chard alone? No wet ingredients at all?!) I now have egg soup under my quiche scramble...

So...Martha...dear Martha, I think you're fired. That is unless you decide to make your recipes more user friendly; cause I am not magical my friend. It's a good thing I have a taqueria with some killer mahi mahi tacos right around the corner.

Yours Truly,

Cinnamon

Our engagement story

2010-06-07T11:16:00.000-07:00

We haven't really spread the news like wild fire about our engagement, most of the announcements have been made out of necessity or force by our parents. We're kinda private about our relationship and I know what it feels like to have to hear someone rub all their personal love life info in your face all the time so I try to avoid doing that. I hate those people.

Things pretty much have gone like this convo the boy had with one if his very good friends the other night...
Friend: "If wedding bells are sometime in your future then..."

Boy: "Oh, yeah, I guess I didn't mention it...we're engaged..."

Friend: "Oh, wow, you guys are doing things super low key. I had no idea, I like your style."

Boy: "yep."
But I wanted to share the engagement story because it's exactly what I would want, private, quiet and just the two of us.

I have never wanted some huge over the top proposal, I would just die, plaster my face on the videotron at the basketball game and I'll leave you, cause you don't know me at all. I would be so embarrassed having tons of people watch me try to make a decision that's going to affect me for the rest of my life, not to mention the pressure to say yes...sigh. There are a million videos online of public marriage proposals gone right and wrong, and even in front of family members I would have been mortified. For me it would take away from the moment and I would be more embarrassed than excited, though I admire the girls that can go with the flow in such a situation, I'm not sure it would be me.
I drove to Long Beach from Carmel on Wednesday and it took me 7 hours to get here. I hate long drives alone, I get bored too easily and fidgety and with no one to talk to I start to lose it. For me long drives alone are the driving equivalent of water boarding, I just can't take it. Two of those hours were spent on the 101 South and the 405 in direct sunlight, never going over 20 mph...so by the time I finally arrived I was sun burnt, had a migraine, starving, sweaty and irritated. I knew we were going to a nice restaurant for dinner to celebrate my belated birthday so I took a nap to chill out before we went out to eat.

When the boy got home from work he suggested we take the dog on a bike ride through town, something he and I enjoy doing together and do quite often, so I agreed and off we went. When we moved all of our stuff down here he had had to take his bike apart to fit in his car and put it all back together again when he got here, so while on the ride he started complaining about the chain and said something must be broken; but it was ok cause he had brought some tools with him just in case.
So we stopped and he handed me the dogs leash and got off his bike so he "could fix it." While he was rooting around in his pocket he casually asked me what I planned to wear to dinner ( I should have known something was up then, cause I could wear sweatpants to dinner and he couldn't care less...) I mentioned some ideas and he says, "Well I think you should wear this..." he gets on one knee and pulls out the ring and asks me to marry him, right there, on the street, just the two of us. Of course my reaction is to ask, "Why are you doing this right here?!" and then I proceed to burst into tears and say yes.
While he's on one knee putting the ring on my finger a big black SUV full of girls drives by with the windows down and starts cheering, and clapping, and "awe-ing" down the street. He got back on his bike and away we went. It turns out our dinner was a birthday/engagement celebration and there was champagne for toasting when we sat down to eat.

I think he did a pretty good job.

"I faked a sonogram today...can you do that?"

2010-06-04T10:53:00.000-07:00

While we're on the topic of milestones I suppose I should announce that I'm engaged.

I've been engaged for approximately 31 hours now and I don't feel any different.

I'm happy and I know I wouldn't want to be with anyone else but I'm not giddy. And I think that's ok. At first I felt guilty about it, that I wasn't jumping up and down with joy (I did cry with happiness when he asked me) even when everyone else was but I've come to grips with it.

Does anyone remember the Sex and the City episode where Miranda finds out she's having a boy and fakes how excited she is so the doctor doesn't think shes a freak?

I think there is some expectation that I should be jumping up and down and freaking out and furiously thumbing through wedding magazines but I'm just not there. All the ladies I have talked to about it are thrilled, maybe even on the verge of freaking out and I feel like I should act that way or they're gonna think I'm a weirdo or unhappy with the decision I'm making; not the case at all.

I think for me I'm still in shock and mildly overwhelmed with all the changes that are taking place in my life, it's still taking a while to sink in for me. I'm also more focused on the lifetime commitment I'm making to someone and less on the dress, cake and DJ. Getting married is a huge commitment and that responsibility overshadows what colors I'm gonna make the tablecloths.

To top it all off I know NOTHING, I mean NOTHING about planning a wedding. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do next (other than enjoy this and let it all sink in) and neither do my friends (that's why I love them so). So here we go, the wedding blind leading the blind.

Did you have any surprising reactions to events in your life that surpassed the traditional expectations of emotion?

Milestones

2010-06-01T16:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my birthday...I am officially 26 years old.

I don't feel 26. Not even close. I feel like I just graduated high school yesterday much less college a few years ago and now on to my doctorate in a few months.

I have to wonder when I'm supposed to start feeling or acting my age. I still like to do cartwheels in the park. My sister is graduating college in the next week and I remember when she graduated high school how emotional it was for me, more so than my own was. I think I was in shock at the fact that I was growing up but hadn't really taken notice. I judged my own growth by the fact that she was growing, until I saw her walk across that stage in her cap and gown I had forgotten I was doing my own growing and changing. I can't imagine seeing her in her college cap and gown will be any less emotional for me.

Sometimes I feel like we gauge our own growth by the milestones of others (don't tell me you weren't shocked when one of your oldest childhood friends got married or had a baby...). We forget that amidst everyone else's changes we too change and grow.

I like to spend a few minutes or so on my birthday reflecting on all the changes that have taken place in my life in the last year, so I feel accomplished and proud that I'm one year older instead of looking upon it with dread.

I lost my job

I moved from Sacramento (somewhere I loved) to Stockton (somewhere I hated)

I moved 3 times

I moved in with my boyfriend and his brother, something I never thought in a million years I would do or enjoy.

I celebrated 2 great years with said boyfriend

Got a pro bono position at a new job where I gained so much in knowledge and patience that it was almost worth not getting paid for

My mom moved back to Carmel from Kansas City

My sister is graduating college

I made new friends, lost old ones

gained weight, lost it, gained it again

I learned to cook, joined a gym and learned to garden and enjoy it

I started my own vegetable garden and learned how to compost

I was involved in my own lawsuit with my old landlord and won

I started this blog

There were weddings, divorces, births and deaths

people moved, came back, moved again

I watched others peoples lives change and move forward for the better while I felt that I was stagnant after having lost my job and I learned how to be happy for others when I wasn't happy for myself

I traveled to places never been before and wish I had traveled some more

I took the second GRE and got into graduate school

I moved to Southern California, and got the boy to go with me

I learned how to trust someone, and let them love me without needing a reason to

I read books that have sat on shelves for years waiting to be read

I became an NPR junkie and love it

So many things have changed for me and I have learned invaluable lessons from my experiences in the past year. I'm proud that I made it through. I have to be honest as a brand new baby career woman I had a hard time envisioning success in the midst of being laid off. I feel like I handled it like a grown up, and I'm proud of that. I learned a lot about myself and other people and I can't imagine with all the changes the next year will bring that this coming birthday year will be any less of a growing experience for me. I'm looking forward to looking back on the next year and seeing how much further I've come from where I am now.

And with that I pack up my suitcase, shove it in my full to the brim volkswagen bug and head to LA. I can't wait to see what happens next...

Have a lovely day.

And it begins

2010-05-25T12:26:00.000-07:00

I presume with the new Sex and the City movie coming out on Thursday (le sigh) that we will be seeing quite a bit of fashion from the ladies...

Well it's starting with last nights premiere at Carnegie Hall, and so far it's not looking up.

Maybe it's cause I hate this color, maybe it's cause I hate Charlotte and this is what she would wear, maybe its that Kristen Davis is clinging to her characters identity like it's the last thing on earth. I don't know. But I do know that I HATE this dress.

Kim Cattrall looks Ok. I think it's her hair that I don't like. It just isn't working for me.

I'm sorry SJP, I know everyone else is going to like this. Even the harshest of critics have said they liked it. But I just don't think it's a good color for you my dear. I know you've worn yellow before, and I liked it. But this is just too yellow for your skin tone.

The dress looks like you've been practicing to be on Miss America, and then afterward you maybe could cut it short and wear it for SATC on Ice.

Now this from earlier in the month is lovely. I'm with this 100%, go you.

Now, I would not have expected this from Cynthia Nixon but...girl you look good.

The glam black with the brooch accent?

You win.

She Bangs, She Bangs

2010-05-24T10:21:00.000-07:00

Before I leave for Southern California this weekend for good, I'm going to get my hair cut. I was looking through pictures of girls with bangs (I let my hairdresser convince me bangs were a good idea when I was 15 and I'll never go back...I love my bangs) and I came across a few cute pictures of who else but dearest Zooey Deschanel.

I know she's old news but I just can't get over her.

She's cute and quirky, has great style, and seems like an all around nice girl...

And man, does she have great hair...

Did you know her sister is on the show Bones? They look a lot alike.

She was named after the brother Zooey from JD Salinger's stories Franny and Zooey

And she has a lovely voice that she uses in her band, She and Him with M. Ward. They just came out with their second album. Anyone heard any of her music?

Sigh...Jersey...Really?

2010-05-19T15:03:00.000-07:00

Can someone please tell me what this new fascination with New Jersey is? Cause I've been there, and it aint that great and as far as I can tell none of the shows prove me wrong.

These people just can't be real...

I just don't get it.

I might just barf...or wear a hat to the premier

2010-05-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

Sex and the City 2...the movie...

Is anyone as embarrassed as I am by the plot and completely ridiculous, cliche ridden, over the top nature of this movie?

And is anyone equally as embarrassed as I am that they will see it opening night?

I'm hoping for some redeeming factor, and a measly little scrap like looks something like the tv show and if not? I go for the clothes my friends.

Thoughts?

You Otter Know

2010-05-12T11:47:00.001-07:00

I have been crazy busy this last week and it just doesn't seem to be stopping in the near future. I spent this last weekend in Carmel for mother's day (HI MOM). We went to a fabulous brunch and ate until we almost popped.

I got home just in time to celebrate my 2 year anniversary with the boy (HI BOY) where we went to a fantastic fondue restaurant in the bay area and ate until we almost popped, who can say no to melted cheese with bread and melted chocolate with fruit while listening to David Cassidy sing "I think I love you"? I certainly can't, and the 70's pop soundtrack made it all the better.
Now we leave tomorrow for San Luis Obispo and Los Angeles to go apartment hunting until Sunday. Hopefully at least one of us comes home with a place to live and/or at least good prospects. After that it will be pack, pack, pack and then back on the road to LA we go.

I'm glad to say that the ball is now rolling full steam ahead. After being unemployed and bored for almost the last year I'm more than happy to have a lot to do.
Needless to say blogging will be sporadic for the next few weeks until the dust settles. So please bare with me and my limited writing/commenting.

Until I can get back into a good rhythm look at this cute picture of a baby otter and his mommy. It seems like the right time to post this cuteness...as if there were ever a wrong time.

Have a lovely day my dears.

Call Me Confused

2010-05-05T12:16:00.000-07:00

I know this is old news but I've been thinking about the misconceptions women have about men and their thoughts on women. I've spent my whole life under the impression that men are attracted to well...this:

The overly busty blonde female, with not an ounce of meat on her, who looks like she'd do just about anything to please you, include not think or talk about anything...ever.

I think we could all agree that most women think of this type of woman when asked what they think men are generally attracted to, right? Women all over the world spend thousands of dollars trying to look like this woman. Blonde hair dye, no meals, tanning beds, teeth whitening, body scultping, botox, silicon implants, nose jobs, liposuction...you name it, we've done it.

But now it comes out that in Esquire magazine Christina Hendricks of Mad Men fame is voted the sexiest woman alive...wait...what?! My brain and all its well honed opinions just came to a screeching halt.

This woman has curves! I mean like a real woman's body! She has hips, and real breasts, and bright red hair, and pale skin and gasp, a personality! She probably even eats! She's a thinking woman's woman!

I'm confused. She is nothing, I repeat NOTHING like the woman I think we all envision when thinking about what men are supposedly attracted to. Does this throw anyone else for a loop? Or is it just me? Is anyone else surprised by these results and the obvious answer that we have men all grouped under these general shallow labels that they cannot get out from under?

I mean seriously. Wow.

God bless you Christina Hendricks and your real God given hips and beautiful ginger hair. I love you.

Throwback

2010-05-03T11:58:00.000-07:00

This weekend was mildly uneventful as weekends go. I did bake; it was delicious, my mothers chocolate chip cake got rave reviews (recipe soon to follow). I also went to breakfast with a dear friend, and I conveniently chose a breakfast place a block away from one of my most favorite vintage stores in all the world.

Knowing that I will be moving soon and this gem of a shop will be oh so far away I went in just to browse...and then just to try things on...and then to buy just one little something for mothers day brunch and then left with 2 dresses, 2 shirts and a sweater jacket. The best part about this place? I got it all for $50...

This place is one of those rare finds, a place you can walk in to and find authentic vintage clothing that won't cost a months rent to own. And I will miss it, tremendously. One of my favorite pastimes is perusing the racks at vintage/consignment shops, I love the anticipation and hope of finding a treasure and I love owning something no one else does. I enjoy the history, the quality and uniqueness of the clothing. Even my dry cleaner has said, "man, you just don't see quality fabrics like these anymore." And I like that I own those special things.

Now that I'm moving to LA I know that there will be a million little "vintage" shops all over the place, but I'm worried everything will cost hundreds of dollars and nothing will be authentic. Who wants to spend $300 on a replica? I don't.

Anyone who lives or has lived in Southern California have any tips or advice on places to shop for authentic vintage clothing that won't cost me my grad school tuition? I'd greatly appreciate it.

Now on to the goods:

60's mad men-esque dress $13, red silk blouse from Paris with flower detail, $8:

Electric blue sweetie dress from 70's $13, Black flowy hippy shirt $6:

Golf themed Granny sweater, $10:

What did you do this weekend?

The Lights of the City

2010-04-30T12:22:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is about this picture of Christina Ricci I find so appealing. But I love it. It's so romantic and glamorous looking to me. The rich colors of the bright yellow moving taxi, with the blue of the night and the green of her dress are so beautiful. It really is a lovely photo.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend, I will be baking up a storm for a dinner we're having tomorrow night with the boys family. I'm in charge of desserts. If they end up being as good as I think they will be I'll be posting some recipes for you next week.

All the colors of the rainbow

2010-04-28T13:39:00.000-07:00

Driving home from LA going over the grapevine all the hills were covered in blankets of wild flowers. Yellow, Blue, Purple, Orange, and Green, It looked like magic, and I just couldn't get over all the beauty.

Have a lovely day.

An open letter for us poor renters

2010-04-27T18:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Southern California,

Why oh why are your rental prices so insulting? I'm offended...
I'm really looking forward to our new relationship together but you're just crushing my dreams of a positive future for the both of us. Lets try to pick things up a bit shall we? I'd appreciate it.

Love,

Cinnamon

You could call it interior decorating porn

2010-04-26T11:00:00.001-07:00

The boy and I were in Los Angeles for the past few days trying to get our bearings and figure out a few things before we head down there permanently. Boy had job interview in Long Beach, boy got said job and starts 4 months before I thought moving would be in order. This put us on warp speed status and now everything is bananas trying to pull it all together. I'm a planner, I don't do "on a whim" very well.

However, while we were down there we did get to enjoy ourselves, there was lots of eating, drinking and being merry with friends old and new. We spent most of our time in Long Beach and Santa Monica. One of those nights in Santa Monica we had drinks at the Viceroy hotel and as soon as I walked in the door I gasped. Anyone who has any sense of decoration and style whatsoever can do nothing but admire it for its hip style, quality and beauty and if you like the color green (my favorite) or the green/black/white color combo you were in heaven.

Each room was different, the outside area with its trendy little cabanas, the drinks and the people watching were of epic standards. Save up cause it was expensive but I would highly recommend it, even if all you have time for is just a little walk around it's worth it, I promise.

The Lobby:The Bar:

Outside pool/bar/dining area:

Dining and such:

Amazing, and pure genius if you ask me. The Viceroy is also found in Palm Springs, Aspen, Miami, Maldives, Anguilla and soon Beverly Hills and each one is done differently.

Cheddar Dill Scones

2010-04-19T13:10:00.000-07:00

One of the lovely folks at the alzheimers home decided to share their terrible head cold with me and I feel just awful. I haven't left the couch for 2 days and I've never watched more HGTV in all my life.

Yesterday I somehow found the strength to peel myself off the couch and make scones. I was hungry and nothing else seemed remotely edible.

It didn't take much to make them (thank God) and though I couldn't taste much of them, the boy said they were delicious, and they certainly looked as much. I wanted to use some of the dill from my garden, it was getting a little out of hand and I had a big ol' block of cheese in the fridge so cheddar dill scones they became.

SO if you ever have a hankering for something that's savory, delicious and just doesn't take much effort, here's the recipe for you.

What you'll need:
4 cups of all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon of all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons of baking powder
2 teaspoons salt
3/4 lb cold, unsalted butter, diced
4 extra large eggs, lightly beaten
1 cup cold heavy cream
1/2 lb extra sharp yellow cheddar cheese, diced or grated
1 cup minced fresh dill
1 egg beaten with 1 tblspoon of water or milk for egg wash

What you do:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees

2. Combine the 4 cups of flour, the baking powder, and salt in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment.

3. Add the butter and mix on low speed until the butter is in pea-sized pieces.

4. Mix the eggs and heavy cream together quickly and add them to the flour and butter mixture. Combine until just blended.

5. Toss together the cheddar, dill and 1 tblspoon of flour and add them to the dough. Mix until they are almost incorporated.

6. Dump the dough onto a well floured surface and knead it for 1 minute until the cheddar and dill are well distributed.

7. Roll the dough into balls or roll it out to be 3/4 inch thick, cut into squares, and then in half to be triangles (go with the balls, it may not look as fancy but it tastes just the same).

8. Brush the tops with the egg wash. Bake on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper for 20-25 minutes, until the outside is starting to brown.

9. Make someone else clean up and enjoy your scones.

Have a lovely day.

Where's Waldo?

2010-04-14T18:30:00.000-07:00

Many an hour I have spent with friends trying to figure out where all the good guys have gone. I can tell you right now it isn't at the bars. This leads to problems and frustrations for a lot of single girls, when the majority of single men that they meet are at the local watering hole. I'm a firm believer that most men that you meet at a bar are not the guys that you want to date, a lot of them are not there to find the love of their lives unfortunately. I know from experience...

So where does a girl go to meet good boyfriend material? The grocery store? The gym? The dog park? I mean seriously. Our main form of socialization in our twenties is the bar, precisely the place where you are not going to find a good guy, the guy that you'll want to spend your time with.

People are different in bars, we act different, we even look different. I didn't meet the boy in a bar, but who knows if we had been in the same bar at the same time if we would have even noticed each other or found the others personality attractive, especially after a few drinks...

Then, the other night, I was reading my book and came across this jem by Franz Wisner...

"The American bar scene just might be the most bizarre courting ritual of them all. You couldn't craft a worse situation to facilitate introductions and judge compatibility. Lord knows what future anthropologists will conclude in the centuries to follow. American bars are modeled after English pubs, as in public meeting places. Yet somehow we've let them evolve into private avoiding spaces. We demand bars that are pitch black so we can't see anyone, with glass rattling sound systems so we can't hear one another talk, plastered with plasma televisions so we don't have to focus on a fellow human. BlackBerrys and iPhones in hand to further isolate. We disguise ourselves in extra eyeliner and self tanner, borrowed skirts and knockoff watches, so that if someone does look at us, they will have no idea our normal appearance. We go in groups, huddling in corners to dissuade any nonmemeber of our tribe from venturing over and complaining to our friends that we "never meet anyone anymore." What's our solution to improve the situation? Ample doses of a liquid intoxicant to slow our brains, slur our speech, and fog our memories. Emboldened, we scour the joint to find another in our dimwitted state, someone with whom to share embellishments and distortions. Oh please, oh please, oh please, Please let me find someone in this bar whose judgement is as poor as my own."

Exactly Franz. Oh how wise.

So where do you meet someone if it isnt at the bar, somewhere we all frequent on a regular basis, and the main spot for trying to meet other singles?

Where did you meet your significant other?

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

2010-04-13T13:26:00.001-07:00

I had decided that it would be a good idea to maybe start a little vegetable garden at the Alzheimer's home to give the residents something to work on that could be their own. Last Thursday I gave the few that wanted to participate their own little plot of land, and they weeded them, and I tilled the dirt for them. I had asked the sons of one of the residents who are farmers if they could maybe donate a few plants to us to be able to get things started; and boy did they...

I walked in this morning to THREE HUNDRED tomato plants and about FIFTY pepper plants. The abundance of tomato plants makes the 50 peppers look like nothing, and it's still 50 plants! Needless to say I'll be busy for the next few days trying to find places for all of those tomatoes, we might be taken over. We practically have a farm at this point...

In other news, the lovely ladies from Arianna Belle and Karisa Tells All gave me an award! Thank you very much for flattering me with your gift and continued support! I look forward to reading your blogs every day. Very Sweet.

1. Put the logo on your blog or within your post.
2. Pass the award on to 12 bloggers.
3. Link to the nominees within your post.
4. Let them know they received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.

I'm passing the award on to these lovely blogs:
1. Happiness is...
2. A Lovely Evening
3. Beautiful Things to Share
4. Blah, Blah, Blahg
5. Chelsea Talks Smack
6. Frugal Luxuries
7. Good Mouse, Bad Mouse
8. Grace's Birdcage
9. Owl and Peacock
10. Addicted to Strangers
11. The Swede Records
12. Dandelion and Grey

Have a wonderful day

Into the woods we go

2010-04-12T20:44:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday next month, I'll be 26. That sounds very grown up, 26...

The last few years in a row I celebrated the usual way, clubs, bars, fancy restaurants, sparkly mini-dresses and lots of good friends by my side. While I love me a good cocktail and a fancy dress this year I decided to do something a little different; a little more challenging.

I'm going on a 4 day backpacking trip through Lake Tahoe and roughing it the whole way. Just me, a close friend who knows the ropes, a tent, a map and a pack on my back. While I was originally avoiding the idea of it and kind of dreading the thought of being in the wilderness for 4 days straight I found out that the planned trip fell on my birthday weekend and decided to make it a personal challenge.

So I'm jumping in with gusto, learning all about how and what to pack, I went to REI today, bought a backpack and I've been scouring the internet (mainly ebay) looking for appropriately priced hiking boots and appropriate hiking gear.

The more I think about it, the more excited I get about it. It'll be something different for me (I love to hike but I'm not a roughing it in the woods kinda lady) and I'll bring in my 26th birthday with a challenge to myself, something I'm really looking forward to.

How does your garden grow?

2010-04-09T22:46:00.000-07:00

I'm glad that I can say this; I've been busy lately, like the kind of busy that when I have a day where I don't have anything to do I gladly don't do anything at all. Coming from someone who has been jobless for a while that's a relief.

As soon as the sun came out, I was pulling weeds, tilling dirt, buying vegetables and planting just about everything I could get my hands on. It appears now that I have a full fledged vegetable and herb garden. Something I am very excited about.

Sweet Basil and Arugula seeds are just starting to sprout along with some dill...

More dill, rosemary, boxwood basil and thyme...

Roma tomatoes...

Sage...
Zucchini, Crooked neck squash, watermelon, parsley and cherry tomatoes...

Onions, and Spearmint...

I can't wait to see all the things I can make from the garden I planted myself. Its a very satisfying feeling. I'm so very glad the sun has finally decided to come out for a while, and since there's been threats of rain on Sunday I better be outside as much as I can until then.

Have a great weekend!

packing up and shipping out

2010-04-07T11:42:00.001-07:00

I'm feeling, well...overwhelmed today. I got admitted to graduate school (yay) in Southern California and I'll be moving there in the late summer/early fall for a doctorate program.

I'm really looking forward to all the changes that going somewhere new will bring but gathering up all of the things you have carted around for most of your adult life and dragging it all to an area you know NOTHING about it awfully scary.

I hate moving, I have to be honest about it. I like the idea of going somewhere new, but going down there, finding a place, packing up everything, moving out, driving down, moving in, unpacking and getting settled is just plain exhausting. Just thinking about it makes me tired. Not to mention how much hate the feeling of temporary and unsettled living, nothing says that like living out of boxes for a few weeks.

It's all of the unknown that comes with the moving process that I find exhausting. I don't know if I'll be going alone or with the boy (he'll go if he can find a job but in this economy and with how specific his career is it's not looking so great at this point in time), what things I will need for graduate school (is it different than college? Will I look like a complete idiot walking in with a backpack and a notebook?) and I know nothing, not a single thing about living in southern California...

Being 4th generation Californian I am perfectly aware of what life for southern Californians is like, I have many many friends down there, and I have visited a time or two but when it comes to living down there myself? I don't even know where to begin. I'm a Northern California girl through and through, flower wearing, Starbucks drinking, real pristine beach with no garbage cans or string bikinis attending, co-op, farmers market, hiking northern California girl. I have never had a burning desire to live down there, navigate through the labyrinth of freeways or sit in traffic for days, I've never wanted to "try the LA thing." I'd be perfectly satisfied living in the cultural microcosm that is the Bay Area for good. But alas fate has decided I'm off to school down south and so I will go, and willingly but not knowing what's out there, not knowing where to even start, and who's going with me and how I'll do this alone and starting over from scratch is awfully overwhelming. It's just a lot to take in.

Any advice on moving somewhere completely new? Somewhere you can't just go for the day to look for an apt but moving to a place where most of your searching is done through hearsay or online? I don't want to be one of those people who thinks they're moving to a great apt, in a great area only to drive right by when seeing the condition of the place/area and living in the Best Western til something better comes along (true story). Any help on long distance moving is greatly appreciated...

Rain Rain Please for the Love of God, Go Away.

2010-04-05T11:00:00.001-07:00

It has been in the mid seventies for the last two weeks, I pretty much didn't come inside the entire time; and then on Wednesday it started pouring again and it's not supposed to stop until tomorrow. It's like torture when you're given a glimpse into how lovely the weather can be after so many months of gray only to be sent right back in the house to hide out until the clouds move over again.

I'm so glad it's spring and when I see everything slowly coming back to life again it makes me very excited. I looked up the other day and all the sudden the trees have little green leaves, all my vegetable seeds are starting to sprout and the flowers are starting to peak out at me. Spring is beginning...finally.

Ring around the rosey, pocket full of posey

2010-04-01T17:43:00.001-07:00

So socks and heels...

I'm not sure I can pull this look off, I feel like I'm 6 again and on my way to church.

It feels so juvenile to me and I'm afraid I look like a little kid. But it looks so cute on all those models in the magazines...

Thoughts? Are you gonna take the sock/heel plunge?

An Affair to Remember

2010-03-30T21:58:00.000-07:00

It's my third week at the alzheimers residency, and A LOT of interesting and very very funny things have happened but this story has been the pinnacle of all experiences so far, and every time I tell it to someone I get very different reactions...so here goes.

Apparently the whole wedding/being married to another resident idea is not a new one in the home. There are women who think that some of the other men that live there are their husbands and vice versa, it gets tricky sometimes when family comes to visit but I think that most people understand its just the disease.

So I was talking to one of the managers and she tells me about another couple who wanted to get married to each other at the home. After a few weeks of the two of them talking about it the manager thought it would be cute and harmless to have a little fake "wedding." So she went to the Goodwill and bought a wedding dress, had a nurse stand in as the priest, and all the other residents sat in as guests.

It went off smashingly well, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, people were happy, the manager felt accomplished that she had been able to provide a small token of joy for this woman and man and then 2 hours later...

He SLAPPED HER.

Apparently the "wife" had mouthed off to the "husband" and he didn't like it, so he looked her in the eye and said, "You're my wife now, you're gonna behave" and then hit her in the face...

You can imagine my surprise as she's telling me this and I'm getting starry eyed about this love story only to be abruptly jerked back into reality.

Of course this leads to a lot of paper work and counseling and families getting involved and lessons learned but I'm more surprised by this:

After all this time, after the disease has taken away this mans memory and all the things associated with it he still after all this time has the idea ingrained into his mind that once he's married to a woman he can hit her; that it's tolerable.

This brought up many of my mother's lessons in my head, saying things like, "be careful who you marry, and make sure to date a long time, because people can sometimes surprise you after marriage. Sometimes if you don't give people enough time to show their true colors it might be too late..."

According to this she might just be right.

So the moral of the story, mom's might be right and don't meddle in other people's affairs, you might just have a lot of paperwork to fill out after all is said and done.

Sorry, I don't know who the picture is by.

Food Stink

2010-03-29T10:08:00.000-07:00

I watched Food inc. last night, and I didn't find it that ground breaking. I think what I was more shocked by is the idea that people STILL don't know this stuff?! The idea that the mass production of food for cheap all the while abusing animals and other humans is not a new idea, so why is this still a discussion? Things need to change, that has been the point for a very long time so why after all the messages we've been receiving is nothing being done?

I know that our food habits are ingrained in who we are but I think that that fact alone would encourage us to think more about what we're eating. When I was 12 years old I ate my last fast food burger, I remember biting off a piece, chewing it and it going down in a lump. I wasn't enjoying it, it didn't taste good or appeal to me anymore and I haven't eaten meat since, I'm almost 26. My point being we can all actively choose what type of food we put in our bodies, whether you eat meat or not, it just takes a litte bit of work.

There is a very big battle going on in this country, it couldn't be more obvious at the moment with Jaime Oliver's Food Revolution, Food inc, and all the food recalls we've been having right at the forefront of the media, cheap fast food and it's detriment to ones health vs. good wholesome cooked food and how expensive it is. This is something I think we've all known for a long time...right? The boy and I live in an town with a high proportion of families in lower economic brackets and on every block, every single block there is some sort of cheap fast food restaurant, don't tell me that you think this is coincidence?

These messages that we see in movies like Supersize Me, or Food inc or read in books like the Omnivores Dilemma are not new messages but we watch or read these ideas and stories and vow that we will change the way we think about food and how we eat it but then we slide back into our old ways and nothing gets done. Why is this? Why is it that even though we know whats in our food, how its processed and how others (farmers, workers, animals even) are affected by it we still don't fight for change and see it?

What's going on?

A simple review of a downright lovely read

2010-03-24T22:57:00.000-07:00

I've just returned from a long weekend visiting the fam in Carmel. It was nice to be able to catch up with everyone and spend some time with the people who are most like me in this world. I even got to catch up with a close friend I haven't seen in years. Getting to see someone you have such good chemistry with is like putting on your favorite sweater, you've worn it in enough that it just fits perfectly in all the right places, it's comfortable, maybe a little worn from all the love, and you pick up right where you left off. With the two of us girls that was laughing; I'm sure of it.

While I was home enjoying the gorgeous weather I finished my book, Honeymoon with my Brother by Franz Wisner. A true story about Franz being left at the alter and how he copes with the abrupt ending of the ten year relationship by going on his honeymoon with his brother. The honeymoon carries on into a 2 year trip around the world to 53 countries and follows the two brothers on their adventures while rekindling their previously distant relationship.

While its not a deep read, its a very interesting story following this man through a personal tragedy that I can imagine would be difficult to recover from for anybody. The book leaves one inspired to travel, discover oneself and cautious to settle down without going on a few challenging soul searching trips first. I found myself easily becoming jealous of these 2 men for their sense of adventure and willingness to drop everything they had worked for and just leave. I don't consider myself too attached to material things but I think too much to be able to just go, leaving everything behind and not think about the consequences of it all.

I've spent my life planning all the things I needed to accomplish with my education that I've left little time to be able to explore the world and all the beautiful things in it. I suppose I could look at is as I'm just taking a side journey first before allowing myself the freedom to travel but I know that once I'm out of school the responsibilities will just keep mounting. Someday...

I think that's precisely why I find books like this so intriguing. It's no secret that being able to afford to travel the world (both financially and merely having the time to spare) is a pretty incredible feat; something not many people are able to do in their lifetime. So when one finds a person who has been able to conquer thinking in the now, and has so little to tie them down therefore leaving them with the opportunity to discover the small corners of the world; well, its a story worth telling, and one worth reliving over and over in the pages of this book.

Mr. Wisner wrote a sequel to his story called How the World Makes Love, it's the next in line for me. I'm hoping to find it to be the male equivalent to Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert that I read last month. I'm hoping to find a male perspective in these pages that debate the same issues Ms. Gilbert was with her very female point of view. Sometimes the boys just need a chance to speak for themselves, hopefully he brings up some interesting questions for me. Let's see what he has to say, shall we?

Anyone else read these books? Or similar ones they would like to recommend?

This is gonna get ugly

2010-03-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, it's on. Our neighbors next door are this nice retired couple and they seem sweet except that they have taken it upon themselves to rescue every single homeless/stray cat in the neighborhood.

While I admire people who take in animals out of the kindness of their hearts, there are now cats EVERYWHERE! And now they have started peeing all over the front yard, porch and front door, and it smells like hell people. I was even leaving for the gym the other day and one walked right in front of the car, walked through the grass and peed right on the front door. Right in front of me!!

I researched what kinds of things I could do, my options:

Trap them: um, no...

Spray them with the hose every time they come in the yard: This requires me sitting out there for like a week so...that's out

Pour hot pepper flakes all over the front yard so that when they lick their paws it burns and then they wont come back: Um I'm not even sure I could fathom how many bottles of pepper flakes I would have to buy and besides I have a dog...she licks her paws too. Besides isn't this kind of mean?

Buy a chemical deterrant and spray it all over the yard: I did this and when I came home from dinner last night, there were 2 cats just chillin in the yard, rolling all over the grass where I sprayed the chemicals. So...

Buy types of plants they don't like: I went to Home Depot tuesday and bought Marigolds and Lavender, made a nice arrangement in the front yard planter box and I come out today and all the Marigolds are broken and lying on their sides from the cats walking through the plants and using it as a litter box!

So now I'm at a loss...

I have spent approximately $35 on items to rid our yard of feline harrassment to no avail.

I don't want to start a war with the neighbors, and they don't even let the cats inside, they all just sleep on beds on the porch so I'm not really sure what to do anymore. It's driving my Dog bananas and I'm almost there.

The Marriage Ref

2010-03-16T10:39:00.001-07:00

I don't know if any of you have been watching The Marriage Ref on NBC (you should btw it's hilarious) but I'm really enjoying it. While the idea is a little tacky, to help a fighting couple choose a winner, the fights, the couples and the panel of judges are very very funny. They do a great job of taking something that we think is a huge deal, like a big, never ending fight, and shed light on how ridiculous it is by using comedy...genius non? And then the panel votes on who has a better argument; and, they choose a winner supposedly to help end the fight for good (probably doesn't but still the idea is there).

Most of the fights have been over the top but comical, like the husband fighting over the dining room table that the wife refuses to use except for Thanksgiving, or the wife fighting with the husband who had their dead dog stuffed which now resides in the living room and creeps her out...but last thursday there was this couple...

The Spiegels. You can go read the description of the couple for yourself but I have to tell you it just doesnt do them the justice that they deserve. Clive, the husband is well...close with his mom, meaning he tells her EVERYTHING. She in return is sabotaging his 14 year marriage to his wife, Jacqueline. The mom is completely, 100% in Clive and Jackies business, she talks crap about the wife to her son regularly, telling him she's uneducated, and how awful she is and he just sits there and listens to her. It just gets worse and worse and worse escalating to a most unhealthy level to the nth degree. It was horrifying and I have to be honest I cannot for the life of me imagine that the wife has dealt with this for so long, the mother in law has been given a freedom she never should have been allowed and it's sickening. Oh, yeah did I mention he's a psychiatrist?

This got me thinking, how much information and freedom to roam should the in laws or your parents have in your relationship? I know we like to confide in our parents and we want them to be a part of our lives but how far is too far?

The boy is awfully close with his family, he tells them an awful lot (something I have taken issue with in the past), and his sister who is married has a room at her house all devoted to when their parents come to visit; which I have to say is well A LOT. I think its weird how much she lets them in to her marriage, I think it's dangerous ground. I don't have parents who are always here to see me, and I have to say I appreciate that. They have allowed me to grow up and be independent and do my own thing and it would weird me out and exhaust me if they were always here to "check in" and come for a visit. I sometimes feel that the boy's sister has allowed their parents to be too involved in her personal life with her husband. I know that she's close with her mom and I admire that but it's a bit too close if you ask me.

With a parents tendency to want to keep and eye on their kids and want the best for them even when we've grown up, what happens if you allow the freedom of openness in your romantic relationship as well? I know when I go home I try to avoid telling my dad and stepmom too much about my relationship because I know they would meddle if they were allowed and they certainly try when I'm home leaving me upset and questioning parts of my relationship I felt good about before I went home.

So, how far is too far? And how do you go about protecting your personal relationship without alienating your parents? At what age are we supposed to stand up for our love lives and start to keep privacy and distance?

I know that the boy and I could have that problem from both sides but we also love our parents and don't want them to feel unwelcome in our lives, our parents do often have experiences to share and advice to give that we may not know nothing about at this point in our relationship. But I do know that I certainly don't want to end up like the Speigels. There has to be boundaries and protection without causing distance...

some people just stick with you

2010-03-11T17:08:00.000-08:00

I haven't even worked a day and I'm already hearing interesting tales...

There is a woman at the home that was asked by one of the other residents if she would marry him after they had been spending time together for about 6 months. She walks around the home every day asking if she can have money for her wedding dress so that she can finally have her wedding.

I find it interesting that even though this man and woman have problems with memory they remember each other day in and day out, but I suppose there are some people in this world that just stick with you.

I found out today that man she was promised to died almost a year ago, and to this day she still wakes up every morning asking for a wedding dress for her wedding. She has never forgotten him, through the cloud of her disease, but she's glued to the promises of her past and for her its never going to change.

I find this so tragically romantic.

photo by algophotos

Working 9 to 5

2010-03-10T16:23:00.000-08:00

I don't know how this happened but I have a job, yay, however its pro bono, sigh. But this is good, it'll give me purpose and something to do during the day rather than sit around eating M&M's, blowing bubbles for the dog and doing yoga dvd's which has been how I've been passing the time for a good while now.

I graduated from UC Davis with a neuroscience degree, but went into the petri dish research side of it for 2 years before I got laid off. I started looking around for a place to volunteer (I've completely accomplished every possible task I threw in front of myself after I lost my job, I learned how to cook, be mildly domestic, go to the gym, start a yoga regimen, garden, compost and knit...I even started an etsy store) and found a home for people with Alzheimers just down the street from me, I went in, talked to the director and man did she have plans for me. I'm now in charge of completely revamping their entire acitivites department at the home.

This is going to be a HUGE project. This place has been open for 20 years and it was just taken over by the daughter of the founders who is a surgeon from L.A. and she has a lot of plans for cleaning the place up administratively. So there's a lot of things to be sorted out and worked through. The place is great, they really want the best for their residents and I think they will be very forward thinking when it comes to working with me on ideas.

Needless to say however, I have NO IDEA what I'm doing. If you wanted to know what happens in the brain to ppl with Alzheimers I could give you a pretty good idea, but when it comes to working with them directly? No experience whatsoever. I'm now in charge of observing activities, and daily functions of the entire home; and then creating some sort of exam to administer to new and old patients to categorize them into appropriate groups that compliment their level of mental deterioration and comprehension. This is a whole new experience for me, but the benefit of it all? If I do a good job, and I create a usable, unique and professional program they're going to publish it and give me credit! So by the time I go to grad school this fall I could already be published. That's pretty cool man.

And given some of the things I've heard about the residents in this home? I could have some pretty interesting stories...

The Music of the Night...again.

2010-03-09T13:16:00.000-08:00

Phantom of the Opera, the longest running show and safe to say the most popular musical of all time having been shown in over 27 countries to over 100 million people now has a sequel.

At the end of the original we're left wondering what happens to the phantom as he mysteriously disappears. Now a supposed 10 years later in Love Never Dies we are reunited with our characters; the Phantom, now a wealthy man running a freak show on Coney Island, Christine married to Raoul, with a ten year old son who appears to be a bit of a musical genius in his own right and we watch as Christine and the Phantom navigate through the treacherous waters of a rekindled romance.

I have to be honest here, I never really thought of Christine and the Phantom as romantic, he kind of creeped me out. I have always found his possessiveness and oh I don't know tendency to kidnap Christine and imprison her a little off putting.

Andrew Lloyd Weber says he has poured everything he has into this musical. While I'm sure most of us could agree that the music from The Phantom of the Opera stands alone Weber goes so far as to say that the music from the new show goes further than the original music. He even says one of the songs he wrote for the new show is a stronger song than Music of the Night. That's an awfully heavy statement I think (I have heard the song and it is good but...).

I wonder now after how long The Phantom of the Opera has been in our lives if we really want a sequel. We've spent enough time and exposure to the story (through the movie with Gerard Butler, the music, books and the reproductions etc) creating our own ending to the story, people have kind of made their own closure. Why open that all back up again and answer all the questions people have already tried to answer for themselves...

Andrew Lloyd Weber of course disagrees with me, 'You know, I think it's slightly unfinished business, because all we do is we just leave a mask on a chair,' and what happened?" he explains. "What did happen? Did Christine really live with Raoul happily ever after? I doubt it. So, there had to be a continuation of the story."

And that's exactly what he's doing, whether we like it or not. The show opens tonight at the Adelphi Theater in London and will open on Broadway in November. I'm sure we'll all have more than enough opportunity to go see it at some point. Will you? Or would you rather leave that story alone...

Do you think this show will be another great success? Or is Mr. Weber setting himself up for failure? It's an awfully large risk.

The little gold man strikes again

2010-03-08T10:49:00.000-08:00

I don't usually watch the Oscars, I usually get bored or I don't have the time, but because of the genius of DVR and the fact that I can fast forward through the boring parts I indulged. I liked it, I was shocked at some of it (how after 82 years Kathryn Bigelow is the first woman director to win? what?), I'm glad The Hurt Locker won so many awards, it's a great movie. If you haven't seen it, definitely do. But the fashion, oh the fashion...

I don't care what anybody says, I loved Sarah Jessica Parker's dress by Chanel. It was gorgeous. Pretty color, great shape, and lovely details. I've always been partial to a dress you can eat in, let your belly hang out in and no one knows...However...

Tom Fords face is basically exactly how I felt about SJP's hair. I wonder if he caught a look of her in the camera. Girl needs some hairspray.

Maggie Gyllenhall looked beautiful and the colors in her dress were amazing. It was like a painting.

I don't know why for the love of God Victoria Beckham was there (she should have been banned just on principal for Spice Girls the movie) but her dress was very pretty. I like the shape and the understated color. It looks great on her, good advertising for her own clothes.

Anna Kendricks dress is lovely, pretty color and gasp! Not a strapless. She might be on to something...

Sandy (I feel like we can be on a first name basis, she seems like she's that kinda gal) looked gorgeous. How did they get her hair to look like that? And those lips? Fab. Her dress just tied it all together. She could have just won an oscar for that hair. Period. And besides, her accpetance speech made me cry. I watched it again today and it still gets me. Grace, humor, humility and style, doesn't get better than that.

I know that the top looks like she just put on a full body spanx and then put a floaty skirt over it, but I like the color of Miley's dress and I think she looks pretty. Especially for a girl of her age, it's more classy than I would have given her credit for.

The very bad...
Hillary, Hillary, Hillary...what are you doing? We've really gone downhill here, especially from that pretty long sleeved navy number you wore when you won for Million Dollar Baby. Girl you need to reevalute this dress. You have nice boobs, we get it. Now go put on a real dress. You look like a walking advertisement for that new show "V."

I'd be laughing too if I were Zoe Saldana. The top of the dress is stunning, halfway down she looks like a window display for Anthropologie. Um, no.

BORING. And too dark. Dark hair, dark eye makeup, dark dress. Nicole Richey looks like an extra from Twilight. She needs to stick with color.

I know I'm supposed to like Vera Formiga's dress but she looks like something out of the sea. Like a sea sponge, or coral or something. I'm just not feeling it.

This one gets me every time. Its like just in case she needed a snack she just glued 2 cinnamon rolls to her chest. Rosettes on the boobs, why did we think this would be a good idea? I don't care who you think you are...John Galliano...no no no.

Ok there, my favorite part of the Oscars, judging people.

Have a god day!

Alice, a quick review

2010-03-05T12:16:00.000-08:00

For those of you that are going to see Alice in Wonderland I thought I would give you my two cents since I saw it last night, I "midnight showed" it as my friend likes to say.

I liked it, the boy did not.

I thought it was good for what I was expecting. It's not life changing but for Tim Burton its better than I thought it would be. It got horrible reviews so I wasn't going in expecting much; and, with that in mind I was surprised at how much better it was than what I was expecting especially after the doom and gloom of the reviews.

Do not go in expecting the Disney storyline that you're used to, the story is completely different, the only similarity are the characters, other than that there's nothing the same, that may have disappointed some people. Seeing it in 3D was cool, but its not required like it was with maybe Avatar.

The boy was a little extreme in saying that its one of the worst movies he's ever seen. Saying it's contrived, over the top, and the whimsical aspects were not whimsical at all merely forced. He thought it was too obvious and there were very few layers where as the original had a lot of hidden messages and meanings in it. He thought the ending was a let down and was not impressed at all.

I thought it was fun, not deep (like I said, not life changing) but it was a movie you go to see and don't have to think too hard about. It was kind of nice to be able to relive a childhood classic but with a little dark adventure thrown in (It is a Burton after all). As I'm sure most of you were expecting Johnny Depp has a main role in the film, he does a good job of being mad but not over the top annoying like I thought he would be, he had a deeper character in this version I think. You liked him and felt sorry for him all at once. The actor I found the most irritating was Helena Bonham Carter, she's extreme and over the top and I'm tired of the same dark angry character she seems to embrace in most of her films. Mia Wasikowska (of In Treatment from HBO) does a lovely job as does Anne Hathaway.

So there it is, it's good, not great. Go see it. And let me know what you think!

Shopping at the GAP means going for the green

2010-03-04T17:41:00.000-08:00

THIS is awesome.

Last night when I was in bed I got an email from The Gap with and announcement for their newest sale event. Usually I don't pay much attention to these as The Gap can be kinda boring to me and I usually only shop there for the basics.

The announcement says that if you bring in a pair of your old jeans they will give you 30% off your purchase of a new pair.

Recently they've been making some pretty awesome jeans with their 1969 collection, they're more fashionable and high end and less mom jeans lookalikes. I've bought a couple of pairs in the last year or so and I really like them, they're comfortable and up to date with the newest fashions.

So I went down there today to look at their new jeans. I wanted to know what they were going to do with the old pair, and it turns out if you give them a pair of your old jeans they're going to recycle and send them to be used for eco-friendly housing insulation. I LOVE this! Not only do you get a new pair of spiffy jeans at a pretty good discount you get to get rid of your old ones and know that they are going towards a great cause. SO much better than just throwing them away!

The "Recycle Your Blues" event is going on from March 5-14, so go on down there and get your self a new pair of blues and give your old ones up!

I got these pretty babies,

And I'm thinking about taking more of my old ones down just because I can barely close my jeans drawer as it is, so I might as well. Go for it! And let me know what new jeans you get!

We're all mad here, I'm mad, you're mad

2010-03-03T16:05:00.001-08:00

Is anyone as excited about Alice in Wonderland as I am? It comes out this friday and I'll be right in front. It was one of my favorite movies as a kid, and I still love the books. I just watched the movie with my 5 year old sister and its still pretty magical.

Tim Burton is doing quite a different take on the whole thing. His movie starts out with Alice, now 19, revisiting Wonderland after having been there ten years before. She is the only one who has the ability to tame or kill the Red Queens dragon and end her reign of terror.

It seems like it's gonna be all sorts of weird. I can't wait.

These boots are made for walking like a rock star

2010-03-02T11:06:00.000-08:00

I have wanted a pair of ankle boots for about 3 fall seasons now and I never am able to find a pair that I really want. There's always something about each pair I'm not impressed with. I thought maybe my "need" for ankle boots would dissipate but it's still there. Then I found these:

Sam Edelman Zoe boots. I love them so much I might just puke. They're very clear knock offs of the Balenciaga boots from a few seasons ago; but I just don't care. These are rock and roll at its finest. These need to be mine.

Mary Kate has a pair of the Balenciaga boots, and I just love them. You will be mine boots.

Rapunzel Rapunzel Girl you gotta cut that hair

2010-03-01T17:03:00.001-08:00

So I did it. I cut my hair. I haven't cut my hair in over 4 years. When I was in college I had a short bob so I could avoid having to style it every day and then when I graduated and became a poor struggling research scientist I decided to grow it out and never ended up going to get a cut...ever. It was long, probably the longest I've ever had it. Like this:

The hairdresser cut off almost 3 inches and its still long. Here was my inspiration:

I wanted lots of layers, like I told the boy, I wanted to get rid of my long hippy hair, I wanted less Jonie Mitchell and more Josie and the Pussycats. So after cutting, curling and styling I now look a bit like this:

Hah! This cracks me up. After spending years blow drying, coloring and straight ironing my hair almost everyday I gave up about a year ago with all heat products for my hair, it was destroying it. I was starting to look like a fuzzy tennis ball with how many frayed ends I had on my head it just wasn't looking healthy so I started letting my hair air dry and leaving the wavyness I have just stay there. But I'm liking the barrel curls that I had when I left the salon today, there was a bounce in my step, I felt like a 60's sexpot. The boy even walked in (having forgotten I got a hair cut) and went "Whoah, you look gorgeous. Your hair is so beautiful." So I'm gonna go with it; for now, it makes me feel good!

I was wondering for all of you lovely ladies out there that style your hair in the mornings, are there any recommendations you might have for the best hair rollers or curlers out there I can use to achieve large wavy voluminous hair that isn't going to cost me a ton of money to get? After embracing my long hippy hair I feel out of the loop of styling products for my new tresses. It was like living off the grid but only on my head.

I will post pictures of my hair at some point but after taking a nap and going on a bike ride it no longer lives up to my Farrah standards :)

Have a great day. xoxo

How do you solve a problem like Maria

2010-02-26T20:35:00.000-08:00

Looking through the fashion week collections, most of them were meh for me, here were my highlights:

Christian Siriano, of course:

Diane Von Furstenburg:

Maybe a super Killer wedding dress, perhaps?

Blumarine:

who doesn't want a pair of sequin pants?

Dolce and Gabbana:

gotta love a sweater onesie...

Versace:

it even has a little window for your muffin top!

Vivienne Westwood:

I know I was mad at her, but how can I be mad at someone who makes a dress that looks like a disco ball?

Marc Jacobs:
I usually like Marc Jacobs but...

Sister Maria much?

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I'm hosting my supper club tomorrow night (coconut shrimp, mango chutney dip and smoked salmon wrapped asparagus) and I think I might go cut off my hair. Its almost to the bottom of my back at this point and I'm tired of it just sitting on my head. I need layers, choppy bangs and a little more rock and roll in my life.

What are your plans?

Wouldn't it be nice

2010-02-25T23:11:00.000-08:00

Has anyone else been following the HGTV Dream Home sweepstakes? Each year they design and build a home somewhere in the country and reveal it on New Years Day, this year its in San Pedro, New Mexico in between Albuquerque and Santa Fe. While I have always wanted to visit New Mexico (I hear Taos and Santa Fe are gorgeous) I haven't ever really had the desire to live there; but, I would surely make the exception in this case.

The kitchen:

The fridge is covered in the same cherry finish as the cabinetry to make it all look neat and clean.

The Great Room:

The sitting room off of the entryway:

I love the tile around the fire place and the teal/grey velvet wing chairs. So pretty. It looks so inviting.

The dining room:

I really like how simple and clean everything is, it's modern and put together well.

The media room:
The walls were done in a cork to make the room feel more warm and not take away from what you're watching. I love the chaises and the three tier coffee table.

One of the guest rooms:

Great wall color!

The Master suite:

The house also includes an office, laudry room, kids bedroom with jack/jill bathroom, and a casita (guest house) for guests to stay in if they want more privacy; go check it out here to see more of the details! They announce the winner in 17 days...wouldn't it be lovely...

Lessons on the road

2010-02-23T17:08:00.000-08:00

(for all of you knee deep in snow, this is Feb. in California btw)

What I learned while on our tri-state road trip...

1) People travel with their dogs, I mean everyone and I seriously mean everywhere. I saw them at the Hoover Dam, The Grand Canyon, Vegas and everywhere in between. There are some world traveling pooches out there people.

2) The Hoover Dam is not interesting. I can't for the life of me figure out the appeal. It's the fifth busiest National Park Service area in the country, and I'm honestly thinking that its because no one has spread the word that its not cool. Besides being the one way to travel to the Grand Canyon, across Nevada into Arizona 13,000-16,000 cars cross the dam every day and that leaves one with some very knarly traffic my friends, seriously, when you just want to get out of the car? Man oh man.

3) Vegas is a fun place to go for a day or two, but its more fun if you're a frat boy. Las Vegas is busting at the seems with recreational activities for frat brothers to partake in. It's like Six Flags for douche bags. I liked Las Vegas, I had a great time looking around, I particularly liked the fountains at the Bellagio, that was my favorite but it reminded me a bit of Joan Rivers, if she were a city. She's old and haggard but she keeps putting on more make up and getting another face lift to look youthful and fun, but underneath it all you know she's really ugly and worn out.

4) Cirque Du Soleil is awesome, if you can afford it. It's no secret you'll have a lot more fun in Las Vegas if you are a millionaire. There is lots to spend your money on. But if you don't have a million bucks to blow on your trip, there is always Tix4tonight. They have kiosks all over vegas with tickets for shows that haven't sold out for that evening. We walked up asked for what Cirque shows they had left, she named off the 3 that were available and sure enough, after our pick, we had 7th row tickets to see LOVE at 9:30 that night and at a discount nonetheless. It was an INCREDIBLE show. Lots of fun and highly recommended.

5) The Grand Canyon is breath taking, but mainly at sunrise and sunset, all the in between time it pretty much looks the same wherever you go. That's when I would recommend a hike, that is if your bf is willing to go on one.

6) The drive to the Grand Canyon is NOT just a quick trip in the car from Vegas (I don't care what anyone says), and there is NOTHING to look at in between (it's worth it though). This is where NPR podcasts come in, I'm telling you, This American Life is a life saver, otherwise I would have lost my mind.

7) Road trips with the right company can be an awful lot of fun. Especially with someone you love.

Loving the imperfect person perfectly

2010-02-19T15:56:00.000-08:00

I have this problem, I have these disastrously high expectations for people, expectations and standards no one has ever met, not even close, not that I should be surprised by this; but it's a big problem. I hold people in the highest regard when it comes to the choices they will make, who they are as people, how they will follow through on these decisions and when they fail, as we all do, when I realize that they are human just like everyone else I am heartbroken. I lost a lot of friends this way. I have a hard time swallowing peoples imperfections and failings and how disappointing people can be sometimes. And I generally hold these expectations highest for the people I am closest to.

As I've grown up though, I have begun to accept the fact that no one is going to be able to fulfill my expectations, this came to me when I realized that I was pushing people away hypocritically; that I too am not perfect and I will never be so (bummer), realizing its completely unfair to be shocked when people stumble and fall. When I began to stumble and fall myself over and over (there were some rough years, especially when it came to boyfriends) I started to take on a whole new outlook. Some call it negativity, I call it realism. I embraced the total opposite of my past sentiments and almost expected people to fail, therefore when they actually did I was not nearly as surprised, shocked or upset by their failings.

I began to not expect much out of people, that way I was either not surprised at all when they totally sucked or I was totally and pleasantly surprised when they ended up being more than I expected of them (which frankly wouldn't have been hard with how low of a standard I gave people sometimes). But this can lead to very little quality when it comes to the human life forms you find yourself spending time with and you end up being disappointed anyway. I've now started to embrace not expecting anything, good or bad from anyone and just seeing where it all goes.

So one can imagine I was surprised when I read this in Committed in reference to the marital outlook of the Hmong women, "A Bride whose expectations for happiness are kept necessarily low to begin with is more protected, perhaps, from the risk of devastating disappointments down the road."

IS this the answer? Have I just been embracing the attitudes of the Hmong all this time and not even knowing it?!

Of all the people we would like to think are wonderful, beautiful, perfect people, we would like to hope that the one we choose to spend our lives with, share our most intimate of selves with would be somewhat close to perfect right? I mean its one thing to hold relatively low expectations when it comes to an acquaintance but our life partners?! Really?

So whats healthy and what isnt? We don't want to have such low expectations for the person we love, that might be insulting (to both us and them!) and with low expectations might come repeated failings that may not necessarily be healthy to continually overlook. But we also shouldn't expect perfection because that will surely lead to unbelievable disappointments when we realize we merely married a human being, a perfectly imperfect person.

So do the Hmong have it right? Should we set our expectations for our lives with someone low, so as not to be disappointed in the end? Or should we want more than that for ourselves, potentially setting ourselves up for failure? I know we like to think we deserve so much more than imperfections, we've been told our whole lives to hold the bar high, very high because we are princesses, but is this the right attitude?

Photo by CKSum via flickr

Give me the cake or I WILL KILL YOU

2010-02-18T17:26:00.000-08:00

I gave up dessert for Lent and I AM DYING a slow death and it's only day 2. What the F was I thinking?!!!

I'm not even Catholic for Gods sakes! I'm sorry Jesus but I might not make it the whole way, I'm not much to admire when it comes to eating and self control. This is bananas.

Wait what happened? What was that?! I can't see!

2010-02-18T16:20:00.000-08:00

She really just has no regard for anyone who has to sit behind her at an event does she?

I'd be all sorts of mad if I got to go to the grammys and all I could see was this:

Back in the Saddle again

2010-02-11T10:08:00.000-08:00

It never gets any less shocking when you hear about someones untimely death. So tragic.

We're off to Vegas and the Grand Canyon tomorrow, should be grand.

Have a good weekend.

To be or not to be my soul mate

2010-02-10T16:25:00.000-08:00

When the boy first told me he knew that I was the one he wanted to marry it was not too far into our relationship. The beginning of our time together was still rather fresh in my memory. I remember that we had just come back from his sisters wedding and that events completion had steered us on a natural progression of discussions, one of which was getting married.

I remember when he told me I was flattered, and it made me feel wanted, and that is a nice feeling; to know that someone out there wants to spend their life with you, that's quite a commitment and quite a compliment. I thought a lot about that day after it happened, I thought of all the boys I had thought I wanted to marry, some of them were real and some were celebrity daydreams, I think one was even a prince (I aim high). It got me thinking, were the boy and I soul mates? Or was it more like we were at an appropriate age, where it could now be a realistic consideration? Did he want to marry me because we were meant to be, or did he want to marry me because we were in the right place at the right time?

I asked him this question once during a good oral hygiene session, mid tooth brush I looked him right in the eye and asked him if he had ever wanted to marry any of his other girlfriends? He said no. Then I asked if he thought he wanted to marry me because I was dating him at the age where people started considering it an option, the next step? He said probably.

While this is not romantic, it's honest and true and I would bet that the reason why a lot of people get married to the person they date in their mid twenties is because they happen to have run into each other right around the supposed "marrying period." I know a guy that dated a girl for 6 years, all through college and grad school they were together, and they were serious, everyone thought she was perfect and that they were perfect together; but, the relationship ended without so much as a glance at a ring. Right after the relationship was over he started dating another girl and after being together for almost 2 years he's already saving up to buy her an engagement ring. This puzzles me, he didn't even consider marrying the girl he had been with for ages...to me it appears that she just didn't come into his life during the "marrying period" of his life story and that ended that.

There were lots of boys when I was younger I talked about marriage with, but it never seemed plausible. We were young, and poor and we didn't have any idea where our individual dreams would take us, so we couldn't see how we would fit into each others lives. I'm now at an age where I know exactly where my dreams are going to take me, and I am able to see how those dreams fit into a relationship with the boy. He knows where his dreams will take him and they appear to be taking him in a similar direction as mine, because we are able to do that, we are able to blend our dreams together and this makes lifelong commitment to one another a realistic endeavor.

In Committed, Gilbert writes, "Moreover, they would likely agree that there is not one special person waiting for you somewhere in this world who would make your like magically complete, but that there are any number of people (right in your own community probably) with whom you could seal a respectful bond."

But what about that magical love we have so dutifully bought into? The butterflies and the idea that we have found the magical missing piece of ourselves in someone else? We are raised on ideas like this, practically bottle fed these stories, and a lot of grown women still believe these things to be true.

So my question is this, do you believe in soul mates? That there is truly one and only one person out there for you and you're meant to be? Or do you believe that you just end up in the right place at the right time? That you've reached a level in your life, with your age and where you are with your goals and your partner has done the same where you can see yourself marrying?

Maybe if we let go of the soul mate idea we might have a better chance of realistically embracing a partnership with someone. Being someone's soulmate, completing someone is a lot to live up to, and almost impossible a dream to fulfill. Perhaps this is why so many relationships end in disappointment.

Photo from Kristine May's photostream

Lime Curd Tart

2010-02-09T14:10:00.000-08:00

Ok, mini break from love and marriage stuff for a moment. I've made this lime curd tart 2 times now, and when I say 2 times, I mean like 2 times in the last 2 weeks and each time I've made it it gets rave reviews. I made it for the boys parents over the weekend and they ate the entire thing, the WHOLE thing, in one sitting. So I think that means its good. I thought I would share it with you as a gift of love, for Valentines day, cause I love you (aw).

What you need for the tart shell:
3/4 cup of unsalted butter at room temp.
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 3/4 cups of all purpose flour
pinch of salt

What you need for the filling:
4 limes at room temp.
1 1/2 cups of sugar
1/4 lb of unsalted butter at room temp.
4 extra large eggs at room temp.
1/8 teaspoon of salt

What you do:

Preheat the oven to 350

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment (you can do this with a hand mixer, I have before) mix the butter and sugar together until they are just combined. Add the Vanilla.

In a medium bowl, sift together the flour and salt, then add them to the butter and sugar mixture.
Mix on low speed until the dough starts to come together. Dump onto a surface dusted with flour and shape into a flat disk.

Press the dough into a 10 inch round false bottom tart pan (if you have one, clearly I didnt) making sure the finished edge is flat. Chill in the fridge until firm.

Butter 1 side of a square of aluminum foil to fit inside the tart and place it, buttered side down on the pastry. Fill with beans or rice so that while cooking the dough doesnt bubble. Bake for 20 minutes. Remove the foil and beans carefully, prick the tart all over with the tines of a fork, and bake again for 20-25 minutes more, until lightly browned. Allow to cool to room temp.

Remove the zest of 4 limes with a zester, being careful to avoid the white pith. Squeeze the limes to make 1/2 a cup of juice and sat aside. Put the zester in a food processer fitted with a steel blade, add the sugar and process for 2-3 minutes, until the zest is finely minced.

In the bowl of the electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream the butter and sugar/lime zest mixture. Add the eggs, 1 at a time, and then add the lime juice and salt. Mix until combined.

*NOTE* The mixture will curdle but don't fret, you're not doing anything wrong. It will come together when you heat it in the saucepan.

Pour the mixture into a 2 quart saucepan and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until thickened, about 10 minutes or so. The lime curd will thicken just before simmer. Remove from heat and set aside to cool down.

Once curd cools to a warm, fill the tart shell with warm lime curd and allow to set at room temp.

Once it has set, serve immediately or refrigerate until ready to serve.

So delicious. Enjoy!

Oh man

2010-02-05T18:23:00.000-08:00

After I walked around the house on some weird wedding/marriage rant this last week I think I scared the boy. I went into a passionate speech last night involving a lot of the same topics I've been thinking about lately, he looks at me, says "Well, this is great. I'm glad you're so anti marriage now." Then slowly walks away from me on the couch mouth agape.

Let me clear something up and make it very clear. I am NOT anti marriage. Quite the opposite actually. I'm anti getting married for the wedding and forgetting about what comes after, anti getting married without thinking about what it all entails, not thinking about the commitment you are making to someone and thinking about the work, effort and nurturing you have to put into a relationship to make it last.
I'm anti losing yourself so much in your relationship that you forget who you truly are. I think that's something a lot of women have a hard time with because we are giving creatures but that walks a fine line with giving til you've lost it all. I'm anti the pressure I think society can put on young women to find a man and settle down...I don't understand it in this day and age when we have so many choices why that seems to be the loudest one.

I'm very much pro marriage and that's why I think it's so important to think about it, A LOT before diving in, and knowing who you really are before sharing that person with someone else for the rest of your life, and not very many young girls are mature enough to have truly found themselves yet and that can get you into some very tough situations throughout life. I think people just rush into things without using their heads first.

I've been thinking about it all myself lately, and I thought I would share that journey with you. I value your opinions and experiences and I feel like all of your input is important since I can only live my one life; I like to hear stories about your lives and loves, triumphs and mistakes. So please keep telling me your stories.

Kell on Earth

2010-02-04T15:07:00.000-08:00

Has anyone watched Kell on Earth? Kelly Cutrone's new show? Like the Kelly Cutrone from PR and fashion firm People's Revolution, you probably know her if you watched The
Hills, ya know before it went from bad to I'm gonna tear my hair out and eat it if I have to watch these people anymore...

It's good, well more like she's good. I kind of love her. She's a straight up, balls out, take no prisoners, tell you like it is and not care, mega super awesome female. I want to hug her for being so fearless about everything, not afraid to do what she wants or look how she wants and balance the constant demands of being a single mom, and powerhouse without complaining (If she probably didn't hit me for trying to touch her).

It's on Bravo Mondays at 10 (for you West Coasters, holler.)

She's famous for being so quotable, favorite so far? "I didn't think it would be such a big deal (on letting Ashley Dupre, call girl famous for former NY Gov. Spitzer controversy, crash a fashion show) I mean half of the people sitting in the front row are sleeping with men for money, they just might be called their wives."

The interesting thing is, I made the boy watch it and he asked if she was a lesbian...I think it's interesting that a strong minded, brave, hardcore woman, who knows what she wants, and doesn't care what she looks like to others can't also be assumed to be a heterosexual woman. She has to be a lesbian right? Because of course if she isn't wearing a pretty dress, or carrying a baby on her hip, or painting her nails she must be a lesbian.

It's not the boys fault, this is very typical of society that we assume such things. I'll honestly say I've done the same things, we all do. But here's this, I'd rather be able to wear jeans with holes in them, have a tattoo, drink a beer, not painted my nails for years and wrestle with the best of them and be assumed to be a lesbian than how things used to be for women (I'm not sure I could do a corset, it looks awfully uncomfortable).

Photo found on wireimage.com

Stop doing this to me!

2010-02-03T14:01:00.000-08:00

This bag just kills me. Kills me dead. It's torture, like fashion water boarding. And I can't handle it.

photo found on The Sartorialist (as usual)

Little life lessons learned from mom

2010-02-03T11:05:00.000-08:00

Still thinking (this could be a problem) so I'm just gonna go with it people. When I was in college I wrote a paper about how divorce affects the attitude about relationships and marriage for kids who were the product of divorce vs. those who still have married parents. I thought it would be really cut and dry, that those who were from divorced marriages would never want to get married or at least be more cautious before doing so, and those that still had married parents would be totally into the idea of marriage and want to get married like. right. now.

It appears its not totally that way. And my dreams of becoming a famous researcher on the effects of divorce were thus very quickly crushed. So I was thinking back about how my parents divorce when I was 9 affected me and how a few of my friends, including the boy feel about marriage when their parents are still together. It got complicated.

When I was in high school I spent all of my time with my 3 best friends and we never left each others sides. we were our own little microcosm of ideas and goals for what we wanted in life. Two of us (#1 and #2) were from divorced single mom households, and 2 (#3 and #4) were from married households (one marriage was very traditional catholic (#3), and one was uber liberal, independent mom who traveled the world doing research and obtaining her PhD and dad was a psychologist(#4)...this will matter in a minute).

It seemed to me looking back on it, that the ones that were from married homes would want to get married right away and the ones that were from single mom homes wouldn't. None of us are married yet, but the one that wanted to get married and have kids the most was #2, who's mom had been single and divorced like since #2 was born. And I would bet if she weren't dating a 40 year old man who's divorced with commitment issues she'd be married by now. #3 with her super traditional catholic family wanted to get married and have babies just as bad and she's still out there looking for the right guy. #4 just graduated with her masters in international public health and is in a serious relationship but more interested in travelling and saving the world. As for me, I never wanted to get married. I wasn't interested in dating or being committed to someone, my mom appeared to carry on and even do better on her own. She indirectly sent me messages and set an example for me, I learned from her without really knowing it, she was my one example of what it was like to be or not be married that I had to learn from.

I learned a lot from my mom about the right and wrong things to do in my own life as well as a life with someone else. I learned to always be prepared and to exercise independence and never lose my own dreams, to have my own bank account with a "rainy day" fund set aside for any "just in case" situations in life (not just divorce), I learned to get an education and have my own career, not to lose myself in my marriage and my children because those things may not last forever and what do you have left when it's all gone? Yourself and the things you worked for to provide for yourself (that could be anything, your emotional stability and financial stability).

But she became a good example of what a woman should be after he was gone, she was independent, did whatever made her happy, she learned how to navigate her way around a toolbox (quite well I might add), got a good job and stood up for herself, she had no one to depend on but herself. She had no one to depend on to make her happy, so she learned how to do it herself. It appeared she got on perfectly fine without being married and without having a man in her life and that showed me it was ok not to "need" a man, to be proud and happy to be a woman on her own and to stand up for myself and what I believe in, and not let anyone take that away from me, even the man I love. Even from a really young age I didn't want to be married and be a mom, I wanted to be a career woman, a total power B*itch, who was single and independent and didn't give a crap about men. That's changed a bit, I found someone who encourages my dreams, tolerates my attitude and someone I can see myself being able to be with for a long time; but, I still have the foundation of what my mom indirectly taught me and that will never change.

It is true though that people who have parents that are still married have a much more positive outlook on marriage and long term commitments. But on the other hand do they lack the realistic understanding that once you get married things don't become perfect? That a marriage is 2 people who are trying to navigate through life together, but they're still 2 seperate people who have seperate ideals, and goals and attitudes, and they'll fight and get angry and that's ok? We're so in love with the idea of love and forget that relationships are hard. I might be more of a cynic than that woman who grew up in a happily married home but i feel like I got a preview into the hardships of life and relationships and I feel like I'm well prepared to look out for and deal with the rough patches and more cautious in my choosing of a life partner to avoid making the same mistakes a lot of women do.

So how did your parents, single, married, dating or otherwise set an example for you? What indirect messages about marriage and relationships did you get from them? Have those changed since you've grown? We learn so much as women from our moms and dads as we grow up and marriage and relationships are no acception to the rule, what lessons did you gain, and do you wish they'd been more honest with you and told you more?

Photo by Pink Sherbet Photography

so...what do I do now?

2010-02-02T10:51:00.000-08:00

I've been mulling some ideas about marriage and relationships and youth around in my head for a while now and it's all got me thinking some very serious thoughts. I'm 25 and I feel like I'm at an age now where EVERYONE is getting married. As soon as I graduated college every girl I knew or know got engaged and married within a year or so of us leaving school. Every status on facebook changed to "engaged" and that is a very big act to follow and quite intimidating when I still have a lot of questions about this relationship and committment stuff.

I was reading one of my very favorite blogs yesterday, Jezebel and there was a post on there about Elizabeth Gilbert (of Eat, Pray, Love fame) and her new book Committed. This book got bumped up to the top of my reading list and is sitting on my night stand ready to be opened as we speak. I like Gilbert and her attitude on life and I especially love when a smart woman who questions life and all the mixed messages in it, gets married and writes a book about it.

After watching the clip on there I had a lot to sit around and think about. The boy and I have talked about getting married, we've even looked at rings a little bit, but I have to wonder are we wanting to get married because we want to spend the rest of our lives together (I'm pretty sure we do) or are we wanting to get married because it's the next thing to do in the long line of societal expectations when it comes to relationships? Gilbert in her interview on the Bonnie Hunt show says that the women who are happiest in their relationships and in their own lives are the ones who waited the longest to get married. Yet I feel like every girl I have talked to talks about getting married or wanting to get married like right now...

When I was a senior in college my roommate, someone I had admired for her electrical engineering major and desire to make big things happen in the world, got engaged to a boy she'd been dating for a year (they're married now, she's a housewife, and baby #1 is on the way) and it started a long line of thoughts in me. I remember reading the school paper a few weeks before I graduated about girls who were about to graduate and were planning a wedding at the same time (how to balance finals and invitations at the same time sort of thing) and this is at the University of California not some southern conservative private school. The day of commencement I sat next to a girl I didn't know, waiting for our names to be called so we could walk up and receive our diplomas, we chatted casually about school and what our plans were, I told her I was taking the MCAT and applying to medical school, I asked what her plans were and she smiled and raised up her left hand to reveal a diamond ring. These were not isolated incidences they happen all the time (still do)...supposedly it's just the next step; you pay thousands of dollars for an education to better your life and make something of it and then you get married and have a baby.

I can't go on facebook without seeing new wedding photos and not a single one of these women is over 25. So what is it? Is it the wedding, or just the next step, the fear of being alone, making other people happy (like the parents) or the status symbol? Are we that impatient and don't want to enjoy the relationship first? I find myself thinking about marriage and getting married and then realize I need to focus more on the relationship for now and not be distracted by the allure of a wedding because after the wedding you still have to have a relationship, and now its for a loooooong time. This new book by Elizabeth Gilbert has got me thinking over some pretty serious things and I want to explore them on here. I want to get a good discussion going with women, both married, in relationships and single to talk about things I don't know much about just yet.

If I could talk to my 40 year old self, what would she say? Wait, don't wait, don't lose your independence, maintain goals for yourself, don't lose him...I don't know. All things I want to talk about. With you. So feel free to give me your two cents...or even the whole dollar. I want to get down to the nitty gritty of it all, I don't want to just buy into the pretty pictures without thinking about it first, it just aint my style.

Grammys

2010-02-01T11:14:00.000-08:00

I didn't watch the grammys last night, I was at a bounce house birthday party for my friend who turned 31. I felt a room full of trampolines and bouncing around with my friends was far more interesting than sitting at home watching tv when I could catch up on it the next day (thank you internet).

I'm not surprised by much that happened, all the winners were not shocking and the performances were to be expected. Lady Gaga was over the top as usual, nothing we haven't seen before. I'd be more shocked if she were just sitting at a piano in an outfit where I didn't feel like I was getting a peek and little baby gaga in her teeny tiny coochie covering leotards.

Something I found amazing though was the performance by Pink. Her act was incredible and left me breathless. I watched it over and over amazed by her ability to hold a microphone, sing and do acrobatics at the same time without falling out of the sky. She did a fantastic and beautiful job. It wasn't something I would have expected from her and it was the one performance from the night I will actually remember.

Its a new day

2010-01-27T20:17:00.000-08:00

I'm very excited to announce my newest venture...I've started an etsy store!

I decided to turn one of my favorite hobbies into my own little cottage industry and use it to my advantage. For now I wanted to do something that I enjoy and not scramble around trying to find something to fill my time and not be happy doing it. I'm very excited to start this, it's brand new to me and I'll learn as I go but at least I can say everything was made with love and I'm going to be happy doing it; not many people can say the same about their jobs, especially in this economic situation.

So go have a look around and let me know what you think! I'm very proud and excited to have gotten this off the ground, here's hoping it takes me good places! Thanks for any input and spreading the word that I'm up for business and reccommendations.

And I love you all for your help and support.

Have a lovely day.

On the road again

2010-01-25T13:54:00.000-08:00

I grew up in one of those families that traveled but not like your "typical" American family travels. We don't camp, I've never been on a cruise, never seen Hawaii or Vegas, we don't usually stay in those fancy hotels and I didn't see Yosemite until a year ago and I've lived in Northern California my whole life. When I go with the fam somewhere we rent a house or something comparable and really try to live like the locals, to get the whole experience. Those are some great memories of traveling in the world but i feel like I haven't gotten to see much of the United States which is something I kind of feel a wee bit cheated out of. I have always wanted to travel up and down the east coast and see the seasons change, I would like to see Washington DC, and Hawaii, the red rocks of New Mexico, Arizona and Utah, the sky in Colorado and Montana, New Orleans, Portland, the coast of Maine and the islands off of South Carolina.

The boy on the other hand has been to Hawaii, gone to Vegas 7 times, traveled and lived all over the east coast/midwest and has participated quite heavily in the commercial travel industry.

So when he asked me what I wanted to do for Valentines day after I made my puke face and made my same this time of year statement about how I despise Valentines day, I looked him in the eye and said "go somewhere, like Sequioa National Forest and see General Sherman." General Sherman is the giant Sequioa that is the largest and oldest tree (they think its about 2700 years old) known and I've always wanted to see it. After some discussion about what to do and where to go we decided to take a road trip to the Grand Canyon with a stop through in Las Vegas.

Neither of us have ever seen the Grand Canyon, and we're meeting friends in Vegas for a night. I'm very excited about it, and I get to plan the whole thing. The problem is I know nothing about Las Vegas or the Gand Canyon in regards to what to do and where to stay and what to see. I'm sure the boy has Vegas covered on where to stay, but I'm afraid that because he's seen everything there a million times he'll be jaded and I'll want to see EVERYTHING and take it all in.

So does anyone have any reccommendations on what to do and what to see in Las Vegas for a beginner? The things you are glad you got to see and would never want to have missed out on? I'm not much of a gambler, I'd rather spend my money on other things than paying the casino's electricity bill, so keep that in mind.

And has anyone ever been to the Grand Canyon and have any experiences they'd like to share?

I would love input, as I begin the planning process with a blank slate and not a clue as to where to begin. I'd surely appreciate it.

Have a lovely day!

This makes me mad

2010-01-20T17:06:00.000-08:00

Vivienne Westwood, fashion designer and inspiration to fashionistas everywhere has really dipped below the belt. Westwood's menswear fashion show in Milan this last week featured men in overly priced clothes acting as homeless men. Some carried bedrolls, some were "sleeping" in cardboard boxes, some pushed carts and carried plastic bags. Men were seen wearing what appeared to be makeup that looked like frostbite and walked up and down a runway covered in cardboard boxes.

The Times online writes:

Last night the press release for Westwood’s menswear collection, for Milan Fashion Week, declared: “Perhaps the oddest of heroes to emerge this season, Vivienne Westwood found inspiration in the roving vagrant whose daily get-up is a battle gear for the harsh weather conditions . . . Quilted bombers and snug hoodies also work well in keeping the vagrant warm.”

Yes, because as Westwood would clearly understand, those quilted bomber jackets she makes for ridiculous prices would be the first thing that so called vagrant would wear...not clothes that they picked up at say Salvation Army for free or dug out of a garbage can because they have no other choice.

The Times also adds,

Westwood conceded that she herself had no experience of being homeless. “The nearest I have come to it is going home and finding I don’t have my door key,” she said. “I mean, what a disaster that is, dying to get in your house and you can’t. And what if it wasn’t there any more?”

Good point Vivienne, you're really on to something there. Lets capitalize on it shall we?

Homeless people are not a fashion statement, they are our fellow human beings, moms, dads, sons and daughters and they need help; if you find this so inspiring why don't you go volunteer at your local soup kitchen, or donate all the money you make from this free inspiration to a homeless cause, instead of make a hoodie and play with the "fun" theme of “like they were sleeping rough and they’d got frost in their hair”? I feel that using the suffering of others to make money is not inspiring, it's just plain cruel. I have lived in downtown Sacramento for a while now, somewhere that has had national coverage recently on the homeless epidemic. I see these men and women, sometimes even children every day and they are suffering. They sleep in bushes and under overhangs that smell like urine; they get harrassed by sh*t punks all the time, and it certainly does not look like a fashion show to me.

Based on the Annual Homeless Assessment Report (AHAR) released by HUD in July 2009:

Nearly 1.6 million people use emergency or transitional housing programs over the course of a year; and
On a given night, approximately 664,000 people are homeless. Of those:
1. More than 124,000 are chronically homeless;
2. 36.5 percent are chronic substance abusers;
3. 26.3 percent are severely mentally ill; and
4. About 15 percent are veterans.

I don't find this something that we should use to our advantage, something we should be able to call "homeless chic." We ignore these people everyday, we assume that they could go do something better so we walk right past them and don't give them the time of day. These people are abused and even die on the streets and you're going to romanticize that by making your fashion show all about it and then paying the men that walk in these shows more money than some of these people will make in their lifetime?! It makes me sick that this would be something that someone who I used to admire, like`Vivienne Westwood would find appropriate and get respect for from the fashion community. Get a grip people and open your eyes to the realities of life.

Rock on Milan

2010-01-19T16:45:00.000-08:00

I love this photo from The Sartorialist, these lovely ladies look so fabulous and they look like they're having such a good time. It reminds me of me and my girlfriends. I hope I always look this stylish, happy and put together when I'm older. You can tell they enjoy life. And I enjoy their outfits!

I'm dying for those pink heels, those green leather gloves and those oversized black pants.

Bummer Man

2010-01-19T16:00:00.000-08:00

Mmmm...

It's a sad day for me. My most favorite chocolate in all the world, Cadburys (not just those sticky frosting eggs you yankees) has been bought out by United States Kraft foods. I've never been a Hersheys fan, I find most chocolate here in the states not so appealing even. Cadburys has always made my favorite candy bars and chocolate, there's just something different about the taste of it. I go to Cost Plus to buy my chocolate bars if I'm ever in the mood, and Cadbury's chocolate bar, Flake is my most favorite. There's a town in New Zealand when we go to visit family called Dunedin that has a Cadburys factory in it, and you can go buy bags full of their mess ups for a $1, and the town smells like chocolate when you drive by the factory. It's so lovely. I can only hope the quality stays the same, and I can only hope that Kraft can win back the Brits cause for now they're pretty pissed to say the least.

Really?! Can they do this?

2010-01-15T16:30:00.000-08:00

I was perusing the blogs today and came across this picture posted on blogger Susan Scafidi's website Counterfeit Chic:

Um...
Dear Marc Jacobs,

While I do love your stuff, it's great, I mean really great; are you serious about craftily beading a swastika onto your boho bag? Are you okay with this? And more importantly is anybody else? I'd be a tad uncomfortable if I were you. Maybe you should reconsider.

Yours truly,

Cinnamon

Book Review

2010-01-14T10:37:00.000-08:00

I thought I would do a post on The Poisonwood Bible, by Barbara Kingsolver after having finished it last week. This book had been on my list of things to read for quite a while, and I finally got to it.

My feelings on the book are mixed.

The story is about a missionary family from Georgia who move to the Belgian Congo in 1959 to start a mission there. The story follows the family through the tumultuous times in the Congo during its difficult birth into independence and the family's adjustment into life in the Congo and follows each womans life until the end. It is narrated by the mother, Orleanna Price and the 4 daughters, Rachel, Leah, Adah and Ruth May.

Needless to say the Prices have a hard time embracing their life in Africa, but continue to trudge on at the insistence of their father, the baptist minister Nathan. Nathan is the enemy here, he represents insensitivity and ignorance not only to the entire village but to his entire family, including his wife.

I had a hard time getting into this book at first. It was a little slow to me in the beginning. I found that I didn't really connect with the characters and I actually didn't really like many of their personalities. However, once I got into the story and finished it I can look back and say that I really appreciate the growth in each character.

Leah grew into a woman with a deeper meaning than herself; she found wisdom and learned what love is. Adah grew in courage and independence, and embraced sympathy for others, especially her mother. Orleanna grew into herself after a long battle with her marriage to Nathan and her stunted growth from their relationship. The only person who didn't really grow was Rachel, she seemed clueless the entire time that anything had any meaning at all. She was only interested in what she could do for herself, and judged her own growth by the things she possesed; throughout her entire life that never changed for her. I wish that Kingsolver had written a bit more about Nathan as a person. Nathan, the father had many personal problems of his own stemming from his past and I would have been more interested to know about him; maybe writing a chapter narrated by him? He seemed so complex but instead of get to understand his complexities and look deeper into his own handicap we just learn to hate him. But maybe that's the point, the wife and daughters of Nathan Price don't understand his issues or look at him as a deep person, they just don't like him.

Each character started out handicapped in some way, either figuratively or literally as in Adah's case. By the end of the novel the characters either embraced their handicap (Rachel, Nathan) or overcame it.

I didn't find this book a page turner, but it was one I wanted to stick with just to see how each character ended up. I didn't fall in love with anyone in the book but I was rooting for them the whole way. I really enjoyed Kingsolver's parallel between the lives of the characters in their struggle for indpendence and that of the Congo. Throughout the whole book the Congo has its own handicap and it is fighting to overcome it just like each person in the Price family; but there are those who are unwilling to accept their problems and find solutions, the leader of the Congo, Mobutu and Rachel respectively.

It was an interesting book and I would reccomend it; but, do some research beforehand on the history of the Congo if you are unfamiliar, it would give the story more depth. The book was well written and the insight the author provides into each character by the end of the novel makes it worth reading.

It's a book you have to stick with to get anything out of it. I liked it, but I didn't love it. There have been books I have read I was truly sad were over but this one was not like that for me.

Anyone else read it and have an opinion?

Bigger Love

2010-01-12T12:57:00.000-08:00

Big Love season 4 premiered recently, and I just finished season 3 last night. I'm looking forward to seeing what's happened to the family since last season. This show has sucked me in. I thought it was kind of boring at first but season 3 was really dramatic and interesting. Jezebel.com did a cliffs notes style coverage of season 4's premier and it looks pretty good. You can read about it here.

The characters are so complicated and I really enjoy seeing how the women grow as the seasons progress. I have to admit the Mormon religion baffles me with all of the terms and traditions that it throws me off a little bit, it gets a bit confusing and tiresome.

I just started reading a a book called, Under the Banner of Heaven by John Krakauer (the same guy that wrote Into the Wild) about the murders of a Mormon woman and her baby in Utah in 1984 by 2 Mormon fundamentalists, the Lafferty brothers. The book follows the fundamentalist part of the Mormon religion and explores the world of religious fanatics. It's been an interesting and educational read so far.

Are there any other Big Love fans out there? I can't explain why I like the show very well. I think I'm intrigued by things I don't understand well, especially concepts I have a hard time processing, like Polygamy. It's a lifestyle I have a very hard time wrapping my mind around. I'm also intrigued by relationships between people and this show definitely explores relationships and how they develop. I find it interesting how repulsive I find polygamy and the expectations for women to completely submit to men, yet the relationships between Bill the husband and his 3 wives is tolerable and even loving in a very loose sense of the word.

sweet tunes

2010-01-08T17:44:00.000-08:00

When I look back on 2009, there weren't that many albums that truly knocked my socks off. However, there were a few that made those bumpy roads of the past year just a little bit easier to tolerate.

My favorite band of all time came out with a new album and I do have to say that people either loved it or hated it. I LOVED it. I think it was one of their best yet. The Decemberists album, The Hazards of Love had some of the most epic ballads, deep tunes and thought provoking lyrics I have heard yet. They only get better and this album was no exception. It's almost like a rock opera with every song blending in to the next, it never pauses. It has recurring themes and tunes and is musically narrated by different characters throughout the entire thing from beginning to end. I couldn't tear myself away for fear I would miss something. The Decemberists really took a risk making such an epic concept album, but this one is not to be missed.

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs made an album this last year called It's Blitz! Many of their albums I find that I like a lot of the songs but there are always a few I could do without. Every song on this album was good. It's just an overall fun album to listen to in the car or dance to at home. It's upbeat techno vibe is a bit out of step with what I'm used to from this band but I found it refreshing and it was an album I kept putting in the player over and over.

The Fruit Bats were a band I discovered early in the year on a program I listen to online and after buying one of their first albums I bought the new one, Ruminant Band. This band is consistent with their indie pop/folk music, meaning its good through and through. They embrace a true 60's beat, a quality music without being overdone. It's a mellow uncomplicated album and definitely worth a listen for it's catchy head bobbing, toe tapping tunes.

Lily Allen's newest album It's Not Me its You was maybe one of the most adorable albums I have heard it a long time. Her heartfelt lyrics blended with catchy beats and tunes made it an addiction I wasn't ashamed of. This girl comes across with a sweet voice and hits you with a trash mouth. But I could listen to her album and feel like she was singing a song just about me. Every song on the album is good and brightens your mood without you even noticing. I heard recently that she announced she's leaving music for good. Say it aint so Lily, cause if you can do better than this I sure would like to hear it.

So these were the things that made 2009 just a wee bit easier. I can't wait to see what 2010 brings.

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend. I'm off to pilates.

Fashion trends

2010-01-07T16:39:00.000-08:00

So 2009 had some good and some very bad fashion trends. Some I found I loved and wear now all the time and some I would rather die than be caught dead in. I broke it down according to my taste, and let me say, if you can pull off the ones I find bad, then girl you're awesome cause it means you look like Kate Moss, and that's epic in my book.

I however, do not look like Kate Moss.

The BAD of 2009:

Over the Knee boots

These are so 80's, like up there with acid wash jeans and shoulder pads (I'll get to those in a second) and unless you have legs that are about 6 feet long and with about as much shape as stilts you should not wear these. Real girls have thighs, these only make them look bigger. That is not a good thing.

Shoulder Pads are back, and not in a good way (as if they were ever good)
This look is only for women who are a sack of bones and want to look wider without eating, or for women who wish they had been on Dynasty and may actually think they still are.

I mean, do you really want to look like this?

But now on to my favorite trends of 2009:

From top to bottom...

Heidi braids were in. I love me some braids. I think it's my inner hippy coming out. They make any look just a little more put together and add something a bit more interesting to a regular updo. I wear braids in my hair all the time and I like how they look.

Boyfriend blazers were in, also an 80's trend but this one is in a good way.

They're a good length on anyone and you could buy one just about anywhere. I got my black velvet boyfriend blazer at a vintage store for $12 and I wear it pretty much everyday. It's adds a lot of character to a tshirt and jeans outfit, the California girls uniform.

The boyfriend jean was also in. This picture from The Sartorialist is a perfect example of how cute they can look without being overdone. Nothing is wrong with a comfortable pair of jeans that also double as stylish and hip.

Ruffles and Romance were big in 2009. It was all about the details, bows, brooches, textured fabrics, big and dramatic without being over the top. I love that you can pull an outfit together and take it to the next level by adding the special details. A little sparkle or a ruffle or two do just the trick.

Chunky knits were also big this last year and into 2010, something I find perfectly appropriate. Drama and warmth all in one, and in bright colors even better.

Oxfords were really huge in 2009. Something I got really excited about. I got these metallic pretties from Urban Outfitters and I wear them all the time. They snazz up my outfits and make a statement without breaking my toes or the bank! Yay! We all win.

Tomorrow, my favorite albums of 2009. Have a lovely evening.

chop that

2010-01-06T12:50:00.001-08:00

So over Christmas I got a fantastic gift certificate to Sur La Table (THANKS MOM!) and man did I have a hard time picking out the things that I wanted. I surveyed the store, leaving, then coming back, then leaving to think about it again. There were so many things I wanted or "needed" I just couldn't process it all and I was afraid to commit to one thing over another.

Kitchen utensils can be very useful or extremely useless and there really isnt much of an in between. So for today I wanted to do my favorite kitchen appliance I discovered this year that I think everyone can use, and yes I even mean the girl (or guy) that doesnt think of herself as much of a cook.

This little cuisinart mini prep is the most affordable and most useful thing I have put in the kitchen so far. I do not like chopping things up, just pretty much hate it, especially onions. My God, I hate cutting up onions and all I have to do it throw it in this thing and I'm done. It cost all of $40.00 and it can do pretty much anything you want it to. It's little (meaning it wont take up a lot of space) so it wouldn't really replace a normal food processor but if you like making guacamole, or salsa, or tomato sauce or want to chop just about anything (we've been making a lot of hash browns with this bad boy) then you might care to invest. I would highly recommend it.

Tomorrow? I'll be posting on my favorite clothing trend and shoes of 2009...oh yeah.

Have a lovely day.

Mooooovies

2010-01-05T14:46:00.000-08:00

This week I'm doing all of my favorite discoveries of 2009. I saw a lot of movies this year and there were a lot of good ones but I am picky about what I call my favorite of anything. Movies are one thing I am most critical of, it's hard to get a good review from me when it comes to film. These are the movies that made it through with flying colors and films I would watch over and over again, and just kept me thinking.

500 Days of Summer:

I went to see this just because Zooey Deschanel was in it and it moved me to tears by the end. I know it wasn't supposed to but its honest portrayal of relationships and love without being cheesy made it worth seeing. I hate movies where everything always works out perfectly in the end, real life doesn't work that way, and this is a movie for people who like me like movies about believable situations. It's quirky, funny, the characters are lovable and the entire thing is all around adorable. If you're the 2 people out there who havent seen it yet, go do so.

The Reader: This movie barely squeaks by as a film for 2009 coming out last january but it is so good I had to mention it. I went to this movie having no idea what it was about and I wasn't expecting much; I left speechless. Kate Winslet does an incredible job as her character. The film starts out a little unusual and makes you nervous about the story line and where it might be headed but by the end you have an entirely new outlook on who these people are. We've all seen a million movies about Nazis but this one looks at a side of the story with its characters that you aren't used to and really gets you thinking by the time you leave the theater.

Away We Go:

I recently saw this movie after having refused to see it in theaters with the boy, I don't know why, maybe I knew somehow that I would want to save this cause it would be so good. Kind of like saving the best candy for last, cause you know you'll go out on a good note. This movie explores the relationship of 2 people about to have a baby and follows them around the US and Canada as they try to find a good place to raise their child. The characters are so lovable, and I couldn't get enough of their love for one another. It explores different types of families, their relationships with one another and different towns throughout the film and by the end you just feel good. These people aren't perfect but you can't help but love them. I still have this movie sitting in my living room, cause I can't bear to part with it.

Invictus:

Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon do the most incredible job in this film. I couldn't stop smiling th entire time I watched it. This movie is about brave people who are willing to cross barriers and end up making history. It's a feel good movie without being cheesy and if you like rugby like I do (Go New Zealand All Blacks!) it only makes it better. I just have to say even my mom who is a kiwi herself didn't mind the end when South Africa beats New Zealand, it was that good. Go see it.

So there you have it, my favorites from 2009. What are yours?

New Year, old products

2010-01-04T11:40:00.000-08:00

I found it hard to keep up on blogs over the holidays, so I didn't. I decided it was too much effort and since the holiday season requires enough effort in itself I gave up on blogs temporarily. I applaud those of you that could still keep up on it all, that's a lot of work.

I'm taking down all of the Christmas decorations today and I have to be honest, for the first time ever, I'm not so sad about it. I sent 2009 into the past with gusto, I have to say I'm glad it's gone; 2009 was one of the most challenging and humbling years of my life, and I wont miss it. I love the blank slate that a new year can provide you, even if it is just in my imagination that all things from the past year are gone or ended, it's nice to know there is a marking point where things can come to a close and there's that fresh hope of a new year and what it may bring. I thought 2009 would bring a lot of good changes for me, and it did bring changes and maybe one day I'll look back on this time and think that they were good changes but while I'm still in the thick of it, it's hard to see it that way. I do have high hopes for 2010 though, I have good feelings that big things are going to happen in my life that will boost me forward, which is a very good thing, and I look forward to it.

Looking back there were a few things (products, movies, music etc) I discovered that I wanted to share with you that made 2009 just a wee bit easier to handle.

I discovered a few products that I decided I love and will continue to use:

Bath and Body works is not a place I usually shop, I find I go in there once in a blue moon get so annoyed with all the smelly products I want to buy but know I will never use that I end up just leaving. However, I had a gift card that someone gave me just sitting in my wallet from ages ago and since they have that new aromatherapy line I went in to check it out. I got this conditioner as a bonus product for free with what I had purchased and I LOVE it. It makes my hair so soft and shiny which is hard to do with my hair. I like it so much I only use it occasionally for fear I will run out of it and then have to go back for more. But seriously, this stuff is surprisingly great, and it comes in a few different scents.

While I'm still on hair, I found this Moroccan oil for hair that I use every day after I get out of the shower. It smells great and it helps smooth out coarse poofy hair like mine making it easier to work with, strengthens weak brittle hair and makes in shiny and contributes to overall healthier looking hair. Something we all could use a little help with, with all the coloring and straightening and blow drying we do.

The hippy in me is telling you all to seriously start using this soap. Dr. Bronners castille soap smells so good, and a little really goes a long way. Instead of using regular shower gel or regular soap which all run out very quickly with this just a few drops on a loofah is all you need. It comes in a million different scents, my favorite are the peppermint and lavender. I heard it even comes in rose, which I havent tried but I bet is lovely. You can find it at your local co-op, sometimes Trader Joes, and I've even seen it once in a while at CVS drug stores. Go out and get it, I promise you wont be sorry. You can even re-use the bottle by taking it to your local co-op and refilling it right in the store. Good for you cause it wont dry out your skin and good for the environment reducing your amount of waste a little at a time.

I get bags under my eyes, like big ones. Like ones I could pack clothes into when I go on trips. I think it's my pre-med days still trying to get me back and probably has a lot to do with my allergies and bad caffeine habit. I've tried a lot of "under eye care" products and clinique has the best one for the most reasonable price. It still follows along with the whole "a little goes a long way" business. I put it on in the morning before I do my makeup and at night with my regular skin care routine just a dab under each eye will do the trick. It helps, and it's worth it so I don't look like an 85 year old woman at 25. I don't think any of us would mind a little face lift when it comes to our makeup routine. I've been doing the same makeup routine since I don't know when but it works for me. Sometimes though I get bored with it and when I want to add a little spice to the mix I wear this lipstick. It's called watermelon and you can find it at Clinique. It's reasonably priced compared to other makeup counters in your local department stores. I went to Lancome first looking for a fun lipstick I could wear on nights out, then went 2 counters down and got the basically the same color for half the price as Lancome was asking. It stays on all night, you don't have to keep applying it, something I can appreciate. It's not something I would wear every day but I didn't want a red I wanted a color not everyone would wear all the time. And it makes me feel French and seductive, something we might all appreciate on days when we're not feeling so pretty.

This week I'm going to post on things I found or used in 2009 that I actually realy liked and want to pass on to all of you. What are some of your favorite products and items you use that you love? You can't keep them all to yourself you know.

I hope everyone has a wonderful new year and embraces the hope and excitement that a blank slate can bring.

So hip I might need a replacement

2009-12-23T09:06:00.000-08:00

Read this post by Falvorwire on stereotyping people by their favorite indie bands, it's pretty funny.

These ones were my favorite:

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Girls who bought checkered sneakers in the 8th grade.

Fleet Foxes
Hopelessly patchy beard growers.

TV On The Radio
Politically-correct hipsters.

Joanna Newsom
People who have considered befriending a squirrel.

Devendra Banhart
People who have considered becoming a squirrel.

Bon Iver
People with self-esteem issues and probably hate Ben Gibbard.

Tegan & Sara
Lesbians and guys who firmly believe that when there are two girls on stage together, there is a 63% chance of them making out.

The Flaming Lips
Self-actualized bros who grow pot.

Sufjan Stevens
People who believe in two things: Jesus and Juno.

Arcade Fire
Frequent transcendental experience havers.

Spoon
Bros who drink shitty beer without ironic intentions.

Although everyone knows indie kids don't like to be stereotyped. And my favorite indie band wasn't even on the list...maybe I'm just so indie they can't keep up :)

Merry Christmas Everyone, I hope you all have a lovely holiday weekend with friends and family and all the wonderful food, libations and drama that goes along with it.

I'm off to Carmel in t-minus 1 hour, that is if I can get myself off this couch to do it.

Christmas party treats

2009-12-22T12:48:00.000-08:00

It was a success.

The boys birthday cake looked festive and pretty.

The food at the Christmas party ended up going really well. Like almost nothing was left, and seeing as I was too busy to take pictures of it all before I put it on the table there are pretty much only pictures of the scraps. This was my first Christmas party, and the first time I ever hosted and cooked all of the food myself. I'm proud to say that it all got rave reviews, especially the coconut cupcakes, peppermint cake, peppermint fudge and brie en croute.

Riley was our mascot, she HATED her outfit. So she protested by staying still. The outfit came off pretty soon there after.

The coconut cupcakes were perfectly moist and not too sweet, and if you like the texture of coconut they would make a great dessert for a party any time of year. Here's the recipe:

What you need:

3 sticks of butter
2 cups of sugar
5 extra large eggs at room temp.
1.5 teaspoons of pure vanilla extract
1.5 teaspoons of pure almond extract
3 cups of flour
1 tsp of baking powder
1/2 tsp of baking soda
1/2 tsp of kosher salt
1 cup of buttermilk
14 oz sweetened shredded coconut

For the frosting:

1 lb of cream cheese, room temp
3 sticks of unsalted butter, room temp
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/2 tsp pure almond extract
1.5 lbs of confectioners sugar, sifted

What you do:

Preheat oven to 325 degrees

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream the butter and sugar on high speed until light and fluffy, about 5 min. With the mixer on low speed, add the eggs 1 at a time, scraping down the bowl after each addition. Add the almond and vanilla extracts and mix well.

In a separate bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. In 3 parts alternately, add the dry ingredients, and the buttermilk into the batter, beginning and ending with the dry. Mix until just combined, fold into 7 oz of coconut.

Line a muffin pan with paper liners, fill each liner to the top with the batter, bake for 25 to 35 min, until the tops are brown and a toothpick comes out clean. Allow to cool.

For making the frosting, in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, on low speed, cream together the cream cheese, butter, and vanilla and almond extracts. Add the confectioners sugar and mix until smooth. Frost the cupcakes and cover the tops with the remaining coconut. I did this by dipping the frosted top into a bowl full of coconut.

I'm adding the fudge recipe because I have always had a hard time making fudge, it's always been difficult for me for some reason and this one was so easy to make and took no time at all.

Peppermint fudge:

3 cups of sugar
1.5 sticks of butter
1 small 5 oz can of evaporated milk
1.5 packages (12 squares) of bakers semi sweet baking chocolate chopped
1 jar Jet-Puffed marshmallow creme
1 cup of chopped planters walnuts (I didn't put these in)
1 tsp vanilla
1.5 tsp of peppermint extract

Line 9 inch square pan with foil, with ends of foil extending over sides of pan, set aside.
Place sugar, butter and evaporated milk in large heavy saucepan. Bring to a full rolling boil on medium heat, stirring constantly. Boil for 4 minutes or until candy thermometer reaches 234 degrees, stirring constantly to to prevent scorching , remove from heat.
Add chocolate and marshmallow creme stir until completely melted. Add walnuts, vanilla and peppermint, mixing well.
Pour immediately into prepared pan, spread to form an even layer. Let stand at room temperature for 4 hours or until completely cooled, cut into 1 inch squares.

Enjoy!

looking good

2009-12-21T21:46:00.000-08:00

Why does she insist on look fabulous all the time? Even when she's wearing a throw as an outfit? This woman is B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Party time, excellent.

2009-12-18T17:42:00.000-08:00

Christmas party tomorrow night! I spent all day today prepping food and baking. It makes tomorrow a lot easier and I don't want to be one of those hostess' that spends all her time in the kitchen, I want to be out enjoying my time with friends and having a killer party. Today was the boys birthday and unfortunately because of our prep for tomorrow so far it's been uneventful. But we're heading out to a movie and drinks afterward I hope.

Here's the menu for tomorrow:

Drinks:

Eggnog
Spiked cider with cranberry ice cubes

Food:

Stuffed mushrooms
Brie en croute
baby quiches
italian chicken sticks
Artichoke dip
deviled eggs
bread roll wreath

Dessert:

Peppermint fudge
coconut cupcakes
chocolate cake with peppermint topping

I'll provide some of the recipes next week, providing it all tastes good

Here's my inspiration for the week:

Have a great weekend!!

All photos courtesy of Martha Stewart.

getting crafty over ETSY

2009-12-17T16:30:00.000-08:00

Did anyone see this article in the Times about Etsy? Pretty interesting, and inspiring.