An open letter to Martha Stewart

Dearest Martha,

I have tried; I mean really tried to use your recipes. Your whole living website is great for healthy recipes that sound edible and delicious and I really do appreciate that; but, we need to have a chat. After multiple attempts to use your seemingly delicious recipes I have one main observation; girl, your recipes don't make any sense. I mean seriously...

When something like this:


ends up looking like this:


THERE.IS. SOMETHING. WRONG. And that took 5 ppl to try to interpret the recipe and we still failed.

I have a quiche in the oven right now that I had to scramble the eggs just to make them stay in the crust (a crust I have to mention I had to cook twice, because do tell, how does one make a crust with wheat germ, flour and chard alone? No wet ingredients at all?!) I now have egg soup under my quiche scramble...

So...Martha...dear Martha, I think you're fired. That is unless you decide to make your recipes more user friendly; cause I am not magical my friend. It's a good thing I have a taqueria with some killer mahi mahi tacos right around the corner.

Yours Truly,

Cinnamon

Christmas Martha Style

I really like Martha Stewart, I love watching how bossy she is to her guests, she's not intimidated by anybody. I also especially love that she went to prison, and then came back from it...Tiger you should take some notes on how to recover gracefully. I don't usually buy craftsy magazines like Real Simple or Martha Stewart, I get overwhelmed; so I ignore them. There are times when I break down though and pull one off the shelf and throw it down with the rest of my groceries, and that would be right around Christmas time.

So I did, I broke down and got the Martha Stewart magazine Christmas edition. Probably because she looks so lovely on the cover, and there were sparkles...and really cute dogs in fabulous outfits.



She did an article on artificial trees and how to work with them and all the colors that they come in. She said she buys vintage ones and uses a simple color combination on each one.

I like the idea of vintage but I'm not really an artificial tree kinda gal, I love the way a real Christmas tree makes the house smell. I know it's not environmentally friendly and I know it saves money in the long run to buy an artificial one, but there's something so magical to me about going and picking up a tree and bringing it home to set up and decorate, as opposed to pulling it out of the box and following instructions. However, all of the trees supposedly set up in her house are all different colors and each one is really beautiful, especially the gold and lime green ones. I guess that's the point of an artificial tree, you buy ones that don't look real, and that's the way they're supposed to be. I did see a pink one the other day, that I really liked, but I knew the boy would freak if I brought it home. And if you had as many rooms and hallways as she does it might be fun to set up a different colored one in each room.


She also had crafts in there I liked, things like how to make these cute angel ornaments on this tree, or cover your candles in frost, which is basically to paint on decoupage glue and roll them in salt. And an instructional article on how to make these really beautiful delicate little knit wheels without knitting at all that you can turn in to ornaments, or things like this gorgeous scarf.


She included a recipe for croquembouche, and it's so pretty, I'm thinking about making it for my Christmas party I'm having in a week. It looks like a lot of work but they swear it's easier than it looks.


I loved this table setting, it's really fantastic, and would be lovely for just about anything, not just Christmas.

So there you have it, my highlights from the Christmas edition of Martha Stewart. I suppose all the inspiration it gave me was worth my moment of weakness.

Have a lovely day.