I'm feeling, well...overwhelmed today. I got admitted to graduate school (yay) in Southern California and I'll be moving there in the late summer/early fall for a doctorate program.
I'm really looking forward to all the changes that going somewhere new will bring but gathering up all of the things you have carted around for most of your adult life and dragging it all to an area you know NOTHING about it awfully scary.
I hate moving, I have to be honest about it. I like the idea of going somewhere new, but going down there, finding a place, packing up everything, moving out, driving down, moving in, unpacking and getting settled is just plain exhausting. Just thinking about it makes me tired. Not to mention how much hate the feeling of temporary and unsettled living, nothing says that like living out of boxes for a few weeks.
It's all of the unknown that comes with the moving process that I find exhausting. I don't know if I'll be going alone or with the boy (he'll go if he can find a job but in this economy and with how specific his career is it's not looking so great at this point in time), what things I will need for graduate school (is it different than college? Will I look like a complete idiot walking in with a backpack and a notebook?) and I know nothing, not a single thing about living in southern California...
Being 4th generation Californian I am perfectly aware of what life for southern Californians is like, I have many many friends down there, and I have visited a time or two but when it comes to living down there myself? I don't even know where to begin. I'm a Northern California girl through and through, flower wearing, Starbucks drinking, real pristine beach with no garbage cans or string bikinis attending, co-op, farmers market, hiking northern California girl. I have never had a burning desire to live down there, navigate through the labyrinth of freeways or sit in traffic for days, I've never wanted to "try the LA thing." I'd be perfectly satisfied living in the cultural microcosm that is the Bay Area for good. But alas fate has decided I'm off to school down south and so I will go, and willingly but not knowing what's out there, not knowing where to even start, and who's going with me and how I'll do this alone and starting over from scratch is awfully overwhelming. It's just a lot to take in.
Any advice on moving somewhere completely new? Somewhere you can't just go for the day to look for an apt but moving to a place where most of your searching is done through hearsay or online? I don't want to be one of those people who thinks they're moving to a great apt, in a great area only to drive right by when seeing the condition of the place/area and living in the Best Western til something better comes along (true story). Any help on long distance moving is greatly appreciated...
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Fun! Where's your school? And how much do you wnat to spend? If you are going to USC, there's nothign great in the immediate area, although Downtown has become a little 'hip'. If you are going to UCLA, then woo hoo, you have TONS of choices--Santa Monica,, Westwood, West Hollywood
ReplyDeleteSee this is the problem, I going to be further inland and away from the coast (boo!) I'm going to Loma Linda University but I DO NOT want to live in Riverside/San Bernadino. I need more character and less ghetto, I'm into a Venice Beach, Pasadena funky retro independent culture hip vibe and you're not getting that in Riverside...so where to go? I heard Redlands? Maybe Claremont? Anywhere else?
ReplyDeleteCongrats! I just got rejected from USC so I'm jealous of you :)
ReplyDeleteI got rejected from USC as well. Don't fret my pet, we've all been there. Did you apply anywhere else?
ReplyDeleteOh! Congrats! I understand the skepticism, though - i have always pined for all things NorCal, but loathed all things SoCal. My best friend currently lives in Silverlake, she's been begging me to visit. I'm going in a month, and only to see her - I don't really care for LA. I know I'll end up liking it, though, I'm just being a pessimist :)
ReplyDeleteAs for moving, I've done it bunches. And I've always hated my new location during the first 6 months (and as is the case for Chicago right now, almost two years later and I still hate it). You probably won't hate the city, you'll just be a bit bummed about not knowing where the best grocery stores are and the cheapest falafel to buy and the lack of friends. Luckily you're going to school there, a surefire way to make at least A friend. That helps IMMENSELY.
My best advice: find a place you like (my go-to is a cafe) as quickly as possible, then go allll theee tiiiime. Spend insane amounts of time there. Make sure it's a slightly busy place, and a good people-watching place, and that the staff is nice - otherwise they may get pouty with your copious lounging. Having a spot (outside your apartment) where you feel comfortable - even if you don't know everyone there at the beginning - is key. I met almost 90% of my Denver friends by going to one particular cafe/bar. I knew the entire staff, I went there for breakfast, dinner, late night drinks, I went there to socialize, I went there when I was bored, and I went there to read. It was my home away from home, and I think that's why I hate Chicago as I do - I have no spot (you may think i'm exaggerating, and I assure you I'm not: Chicago has absolutely no cafe open past 9pm. a quality cafe/cafe-bar, to me, is open until the bars close).
Hope it helps!
(oh yeah! And take lots of walks. I know LA is a driving town, but when driving you miss out on all the little stores and restaurants and for rent signs in apartments. taking walks ensures that you familiarize yourself with you surroundings)
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised that you don't like Chicago, aside from the weather I have only heard great things about it.
ReplyDeleteIt's not terrible. As for a city itself, it has great history and a diverse culture, I absolutely adore it - but I'm really not a fan of the people. I blew all my savings when I first moved back going to so many things: concerts, cafes, bookstores, record shops, critical masses, movie nights, craft nights, bars, vintage shops, you name it - and I'm pretty positive I didn't sit in the corner with my arms crossed and scowling... yet in 5 months I was unable to meet anyone. Literally, anyone. That simply would not have happened in Denver, that's exactly how I made all my friends. And if you've talked to anyone who has moved to Chicago in their post-college years, they'll probably tell you the same, I've heard so many accounts... Chicagoans are perfectly nice, I've never met a mean person, but they just don't have time for getting to know new people. It's like a little bubble of comfort that they refuse to pop. As a friend of mine leftover from highschool said perfectly, "The only way to have a lot of friends in Chicago is to either have gone to college there and manage to have held on to all of them; or become the city's biggest drunk/drug user, because you need those networks." And it's very true.
ReplyDeleteI also have to admit to becoming a big fan of smaller cities in the past few years, so that influences my opinion greatly... :)
(ps, that story of you great grandpa is fascinating! wow!)
I know this sounds unusual but have you ever considered midtown Sacramento? I LOVED living there and I never thought I would. It's a city but its small enough that you can walk everywhere (big bike culture as well), tons of independent restaurants/cafes, great parks, hip/vintage houses and apts, laid back atmosphere, all mid-twenties friendly people, good weather and a great night life. But its small enough that you meet people and end up seeing people that you know all the time at the bars and downtown. I just loved it here, I'm gonna miss it. I don't think downtown sacramento gets enough credit.
ReplyDeleteahh im nervous/excited for you - sounds like a big change, but that can mean awesome things. the great thing about going to school is that you'll have built-in social life. everyone else will probably be in the same boat/new to the area/hoping to meet new people. you'll do fabulously:)
ReplyDeleteAh, no, I've never really considered Sacramento! But that's only because I'm utterly in love with coastal towns, and have promised myself that the next town I move to will be right on the ocean. New England or Pacific Northwest, methinks... But I'm sure I would definitely like Sacramento- what you describe is exactly what I love about small towns!
ReplyDeleteOh congrats girlie!! How exciting (and nerve racking). I loathe moving, but you're moving to my former locale! Try to be near the beach if you can...it will keep you sane. What school? USC by chance?? :) xo
ReplyDeleteOH! I just read all your comments. Okay, so no USC and no beach. Bummer, b/c Venice is amazing and I know you'd love it. Could you live in Venice and commute?? :) xo
ReplyDeleteI thought about commuting, I might have to anyway, the boy just got offered a job in Irvine or Long Beach (we don't know which one yet). But we would still probably live halfway in between both towns and as far as I know there aint much in between to choose from. But I don't want to be stuck in traffic either, 30 miles can be an eternity if we're not careful...what about Corona, Chino, Mira Loma? Basically I don't know any of these towns I'm just looking at a map and picking things. Sigh. I need help.
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