Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Michelle my belle.
I was taking a break from studying and came across an article in the NY Times about the "First Marriage." It's a very interesting and honest article, thanks to Michelle Obama who is honest about how difficult a relationship can be.
She has a lot of interesting things to say, especially this:
“If my ups and downs, our ups and downs in our marriage can help young couples sort of realize that good marriages take work. . . .” Michelle Obama said a few minutes later in the interview. The image of a flawless relationship is “the last thing that we want to project,” she said. “It’s unfair to the institution of marriage, and it’s unfair for young people who are trying to build something, to project this perfection that doesn’t exist.”
I appreciate this very much. The boy and I are not perfect people and though we aren't married we intend to be, and sometimes through both our stubborn ways, hot heads and control freak status of the both of us, it's hard to see how these things truly work out. Especially when you're on the outside looking in on other people's seemingly perfect non tumultuous relationships. It would be impossible to accomplish a perfect relationship, even though there are a lot of messages out there that project this ideal, and I truly feel that because a lot of people expect perfection in their marriages it is precisely why they don't work out. I think people think it will always be rainbows, hearts and butterflies and it will all be easy street...and then life throws a curve ball.
I see it in girls my age all the time. They care about the wedding, the pretty pretty dress and flowers and all the attention, and then have a serious problem when a year later things aren't as pretty anymore. They completely forget through the illusions of the wedding industry that there is a marriage afterward. That's not to say I don't like weddings (duh).
It's nice to know that the Obamas are aware that they are an example for other relationships, yes not the only example but a big one, and that she can openly admit that yes, there are downs. They do have them, and every one will. But it doesn't mean it's the end. Now there's a reality check I think a lot of people need (sometimes even I do). These things take work, and in a society where a lot of people expect things to just be handed to them, it's nice to see someone admit that things won't always be perfect. But that doesn't mean that they wont work out.