Friday, June 4, 2010
"I faked a sonogram today...can you do that?"
While we're on the topic of milestones I suppose I should announce that I'm engaged.
I've been engaged for approximately 31 hours now and I don't feel any different.
I'm happy and I know I wouldn't want to be with anyone else but I'm not giddy. And I think that's ok. At first I felt guilty about it, that I wasn't jumping up and down with joy (I did cry with happiness when he asked me) even when everyone else was but I've come to grips with it.
Does anyone remember the Sex and the City episode where Miranda finds out she's having a boy and fakes how excited she is so the doctor doesn't think shes a freak?
I think there is some expectation that I should be jumping up and down and freaking out and furiously thumbing through wedding magazines but I'm just not there. All the ladies I have talked to about it are thrilled, maybe even on the verge of freaking out and I feel like I should act that way or they're gonna think I'm a weirdo or unhappy with the decision I'm making; not the case at all.
I think for me I'm still in shock and mildly overwhelmed with all the changes that are taking place in my life, it's still taking a while to sink in for me. I'm also more focused on the lifetime commitment I'm making to someone and less on the dress, cake and DJ. Getting married is a huge commitment and that responsibility overshadows what colors I'm gonna make the tablecloths.
To top it all off I know NOTHING, I mean NOTHING about planning a wedding. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do next (other than enjoy this and let it all sink in) and neither do my friends (that's why I love them so). So here we go, the wedding blind leading the blind.
Did you have any surprising reactions to events in your life that surpassed the traditional expectations of emotion?