While we're on the topic of milestones I suppose I should announce that I'm engaged.
I've been engaged for approximately 31 hours now and I don't feel any different.
I'm happy and I know I wouldn't want to be with anyone else but I'm not giddy. And I think that's ok. At first I felt guilty about it, that I wasn't jumping up and down with joy (I did cry with happiness when he asked me) even when everyone else was but I've come to grips with it.
Does anyone remember the Sex and the City episode where Miranda finds out she's having a boy and fakes how excited she is so the doctor doesn't think shes a freak?
I think there is some expectation that I should be jumping up and down and freaking out and furiously thumbing through wedding magazines but I'm just not there. All the ladies I have talked to about it are thrilled, maybe even on the verge of freaking out and I feel like I should act that way or they're gonna think I'm a weirdo or unhappy with the decision I'm making; not the case at all.
I think for me I'm still in shock and mildly overwhelmed with all the changes that are taking place in my life, it's still taking a while to sink in for me. I'm also more focused on the lifetime commitment I'm making to someone and less on the dress, cake and DJ. Getting married is a huge commitment and that responsibility overshadows what colors I'm gonna make the tablecloths.
To top it all off I know NOTHING, I mean NOTHING about planning a wedding. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do next (other than enjoy this and let it all sink in) and neither do my friends (that's why I love them so). So here we go, the wedding blind leading the blind.
Did you have any surprising reactions to events in your life that surpassed the traditional expectations of emotion?
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Congrats you two!! I'm probably more excited for you than you are - haha. Although, who knows, I might react the same way when I get engaged, just b/c I know it's coming and I know who it will be with and we've talked it over so much ;) Naw, I take that back. I'll be way excited, b/c it's actually happening after so many years of waiting. It's good to know you're more focused on the lifetime commitment as opposed to wedding details. You have your head on straight. And I'm sure your wedding will be a lovely testament to that sentiment :) xo
ReplyDeleteSooo happy for you. But, don't feel bad about how you are "supposed" to feel. Feel how you feel. The point is you are happy (albeit, maybe a little scared,)and know you are making the right decision. Period.
ReplyDeleteCONGRATS!!
ReplyDeleteGetting engaged was so surreal for me, I can totally get what you are going through. It felt like I was watching someone else getting engaged.
The first thing I would do is decide what kind of wedding you want to have (the feel, ideas for venues, approx # of people) and when and go from there.
Shannon, I think you hit the nail on the head. We had talked about it and I knew it would be coming eventually and I knew he was the person I would be with so my reaction was not complete and utter surprise. I think it also has something to do with the realization I'm getting older and growing up even though I don't feel like a grown up. It's all a little shocking to me. It is almost like watching someone else get engaged. It's a really interesting feeling!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!! I think the way you're feeling is totally normal. In fact I just read this post:http://www.glamour.com/weddings/blogs/save-the-date/2010/05/study-says-women-feel-sad-afte.html
ReplyDeletethat seems similar to your dilemma. I get sad at graduations, other people's weddings, and other milestones just because it means things are changing. So maybe you're just sad about the changes, even if they are good changes?
If you need help wedding planning, you could try weddingbee.com. I'm obsessed with it even though I'm not engaged (why do I admit to this????). But I think waiting a while to enjoy engagement before starting to plan is the best way to go. Enjoy it because the engagement won't last long!