Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Yesterday was my birthday...I am officially 26 years old.
I don't feel 26. Not even close. I feel like I just graduated high school yesterday much less college a few years ago and now on to my doctorate in a few months.
I have to wonder when I'm supposed to start feeling or acting my age. I still like to do cartwheels in the park. My sister is graduating college in the next week and I remember when she graduated high school how emotional it was for me, more so than my own was. I think I was in shock at the fact that I was growing up but hadn't really taken notice. I judged my own growth by the fact that she was growing, until I saw her walk across that stage in her cap and gown I had forgotten I was doing my own growing and changing. I can't imagine seeing her in her college cap and gown will be any less emotional for me.
Sometimes I feel like we gauge our own growth by the milestones of others (don't tell me you weren't shocked when one of your oldest childhood friends got married or had a baby...). We forget that amidst everyone else's changes we too change and grow.
I like to spend a few minutes or so on my birthday reflecting on all the changes that have taken place in my life in the last year, so I feel accomplished and proud that I'm one year older instead of looking upon it with dread.
I lost my job
I moved from Sacramento (somewhere I loved) to Stockton (somewhere I hated)
I moved 3 times
I moved in with my boyfriend and his brother, something I never thought in a million years I would do or enjoy.
I celebrated 2 great years with said boyfriend
Got a pro bono position at a new job where I gained so much in knowledge and patience that it was almost worth not getting paid for
My mom moved back to Carmel from Kansas City
My sister is graduating college
I made new friends, lost old ones
gained weight, lost it, gained it again
I learned to cook, joined a gym and learned to garden and enjoy it
I started my own vegetable garden and learned how to compost
I was involved in my own lawsuit with my old landlord and won
I started this blog
There were weddings, divorces, births and deaths
people moved, came back, moved again
I watched others peoples lives change and move forward for the better while I felt that I was stagnant after having lost my job and I learned how to be happy for others when I wasn't happy for myself
I traveled to places never been before and wish I had traveled some more
I took the second GRE and got into graduate school
I moved to Southern California, and got the boy to go with me
I learned how to trust someone, and let them love me without needing a reason to
I read books that have sat on shelves for years waiting to be read
I became an NPR junkie and love it
So many things have changed for me and I have learned invaluable lessons from my experiences in the past year. I'm proud that I made it through. I have to be honest as a brand new baby career woman I had a hard time envisioning success in the midst of being laid off. I feel like I handled it like a grown up, and I'm proud of that. I learned a lot about myself and other people and I can't imagine with all the changes the next year will bring that this coming birthday year will be any less of a growing experience for me. I'm looking forward to looking back on the next year and seeing how much further I've come from where I am now.
And with that I pack up my suitcase, shove it in my full to the brim volkswagen bug and head to LA. I can't wait to see what happens next...
Have a lovely day.